Void // Billie Eilish

Three

Billie

"I'm gonna get you back, ya know!" Lexi calls out and I chuckle to myself, my heart fluttering in my chest as I walk away from her.

"Good luck with that!"

When I reach my car around the corner I get in and let out a loud sigh while leaning forward to rest my head on the steering wheel.

I can't believe I kissed her! Why would I do that?

Because you wanted to.

"Shut up, brain," I grumble then sit up and turn the engine on, pulling my seatbelt across my body before I pull away from the curb and drive back to my apartment.

A little while ago Fin and I moved out of our parents house and into a nice apartment with Claudia. It gave my parents some much deserved alone time and me and Finneas some independence. It's been really nice, but I miss my parents a lot. And Pepper, I miss living with Pepper.

At least I see them all the time, and sometimes when I'm anxious I sleep at their house to help calm down.

When I get back to the apartment, I shut the door behind me and lean back against it with a huff.

"Hey, William," Fin says without looking up from his book.

He's sat on the couch with Claudia, both of them reading books while her legs are draped over his lap. Our fairly new dog, Benny, is curled up on his other side, looking adorable as always.

"I saw Lexi again."

Finneas and Claudia look up from their books immediately at that, both of them looking skeptical but interested.

"You're supposed to say hey back," Fin teases, which earns eye rolls from both me and Claudia.

"Did you talk to her?" Claudia asks and I bite my lip shyly. "What does that look mean?"

"I, uh, I may have kissed her," I mumble and they both let out little gasps. "I couldn't help it."

"What happened next?" Finneas asks and I hesitate.

"I sorta panicked and told her I have a boyfriend."

He furrows his eyebrows before saying, "But you don't..."

"I know that, genius!" I respond sarcastically. "I just freaked out and wanted to put up some type of wall between us, you know? It was the first thing I thought of."

Claudia laughs softly before patting the spot beside her and setting her book down. I plop down beside her and rest my head on her shoulder; smiling when she brings her hand up to run through my hair gently.

"What'd she say?"

I smile slightly when I think about it, "That she's gonna get me back."

"Do you want her back?" Fin asks and my smile drops. I sigh softly and shrug after thinking for a while. "I dunno. It's complicated."

"Walk us through it then."

I stay silent for a moment while I think. I look down at my lap and fiddle with my fingers as I start to get overwhelmed almost immediately.

"Well, part of me wants her back because I loved her so much and I want to feel that way with someone again. I missed it, you know? But at the same time, I spent so long getting over her and finally did, I don't want shit on all that progress. Plus it's been two years, we're probably different. What if our feelings aren't the same as they used to be and I just end up hurt all over again?"

They both listen intently and nod along, Claudia continuing to play with my hair comfortingly.

"Sounds like if you do get back with her, you should ease into it. Start off slow, test the waters," she says and I nod slightly. "Don't kiss her less than a minute into talking to her," she teases and nudges me playfully.