MIDDLE. ᵏʲʷ

12 | jelly

a sunny afternoon.

my attention was fully focused at her. i on't want to blink even for a second, I might miss out a detail or worst, everything about it.

i wouldn't want to let her think that im not listening well, that's an insult.

but then the subject changed. i couldn't help but furrow my eyebrows.

i don't even understand what im feeling right now

"what about me? what did i do during that day?" i asked eunbi after she finished talking.

"you... were so quiet during that day." she answered me quickly.

"why is that?" i asked once again, placing my left hand on my cheeks.

"i-i don't know," eunbi replied.

"okay. thanks for sparing me your time." i said to her while hugging my pillow.

there must be really a reason behind that

when she was talking about Jaehyun..
i did felt something, but i'm unsure of what this is

i wish to understand what state i am
at right now

but my mind has nothing to process

*sighs*

to he honest, there's still a lot of questions that has been running through my mind.

it needs answers.

taking steps little by little, i hope this  helps me improve.

"um... do you have something on your mind?" eunbi spoke, breaking the silence.

"im actually thinking of cleaning up my room, i haven't been around for months—" i said to her but i wasn't able to finish my sentence.

"i'll help!" She happily said.

and we started cleaning.

i was emptying my boxes when something catched my attention.

it was a notebook. my guts tells me to open it and so i did.

the pages were thick, also the cover was.

im feeling nervous...

the words in the first page wrote;

my journal

kim jungwoo

i have things like this? why didn't i knew it sooner?

maybe this will help

maybe not.

everything might be left unanswered, while im clueless of it.

i was about to flip the second page when Eunbi came back. she went out for a moment.

quickly, i put it inside my drawer and sat back.

"i bought snacks," she said while taking each of the snacks inside the bag.

"oh, i forgot—i'll go get water." she added.

"here, you need to stay hydrated." eunbi said as she gave me a glass of it.

"thanks," i shyly said as i took it.

just as soon as i turned to face her, everything went into slow-mo! she's the only one that i could see! nothing else more!

what's happening to me?! anybody please send help!

i couldn't understand what im feeling right now! *gulp*

i turned my head away from the opposite side.

something's really wrong with me today

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NOT A SINGLE THING COULD EVEN EXPLAIN THIS TO ME

calm down, jungwoo. please.

just please!

"e-eunbi, sorry for bothering you since this noon. i hope you can take rest, i-i shouldn't have made you clean with me too. i'll go first." i said to her before coming into my room, without letting her answer.

i let myself fall into my bed as i placed both hands on my chest, looking at the ceiling for answers.

this is bad. my heart is racing like crazy!

i rose up and get my journal back.

there were a lot of entries that i wrote back then. Then i came unto this entry from six years ago.

———————

entry # 56 | june 8, 2013

i was under the tree that was shading me from the heat of the sun. the weather is really good! and i saw her pass by the court. the wind was brushing her cheeks and so her hair also flew. her reaction was so cute! the way she pouted whenever her hair gets ruined by the wind is so adorable. but i only get to say everything here. only here.

———————

"who am i talking about?" i mumbled to myself as i scratch my nape in wonder.

"fool, i can't answer this on my own." i said to myself once again.

then the phone rang. i came to answer it right away.

"Hello?" i said to whoever who was on other line.

"yo, man! it's me, lucas!" the voice from the other line spoke.

"oh, lucas. how have you been?" i said to him.

"im okay! um... can i come to your place?" he asked and it didn't took me a minute to agree.

"s-sure, i also have something to ask you." i said to him before he bid me goodbye and the call went off.

***
yo people! hi there hehe so yea, he did found something while cleaning lol be prepared for the next updates since it'll be a long ass ride! please continue supporting this book! love y'all ♡

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