Closer to the End

Chapter 3

Day 155

Entry 2, March 11

Dear Friends,

5

"I... don't understand, how can this be possible." I looked at myself, up and down. My hair was back to the lightest brown that it was. My skin was lighter and my clothes weren't black, they were my favourite pink P.J's that were so comfy and felt like a fresh blanket you just bought for your bed. I felt my face and hair. Wasn't greasy, felt... normally. Not like... my other self.

My head started to hurt through out the day. Being at school was more of a nightmare then it normally was. If you've never had a headache, it feels like a pounding sensation in the corners of your head, by the temple. If you push anywhere on your face it gets worse. I mean, I could be having a migraine because those are even worse, but I'm just lucky that's it not one of those, because I don't need that right now. I couldn't stop thinking about that.

My brain is in shambles, It's scattered and I don't know how to fix it.

I started to draw some of the people that I witnessed. Like Leo, James, Bryson. Even Mara. But it seemed impossible. I felt myself getting angry as I drew. Unsure why, I just stopped. So much for that.

As the day passed on, I could feel myself going blurry. I couldn't remember much at all, except that my friends were pretty worried for me. I love my friends, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell them all my problems. They're all so special and talented, and I think that I'm just... there. Like I get in their way. I feel really bad and I'm sorry for that, but it's true... That's just one of the many thing's I feel. Emotions are hard to keep contained, especially around those you love.

I wanted to go back there, only... I didn't know how. An itching feeling kept creeping at me. Telling me that I should go back, even though, it feels like I'm losing control of my body.

Something I'm afraid of.

My feet just got heavier and heavier, as my mind kept filling with acid. It felt like pain. It was spreading through my body. I was getting hot. I know it was probably a fever, but I just couldn't bring myself to go home early. That would mean to much attention on me. Suddenly, I saw him. The same kid with the dirty blond hair and recognizable freckles.

"Leo?" I said it softly that he didn't hear me. I've never noticed him. Mind you, he's probably older than me, and I'm a freshmen. But, if what Bryson says is true, than Leo must know who I am. I noticed Leo is with a boy. He's around 6'1, same height as James and he's very blond. Has glasses and curly hair. He has a big smile on his face. I then noticed the way Leo looks at the blond boy. I suddenly smirked. I would need to talk to him about it later.

I hurried off after my friends, now hoping I would go back and be able to see Leo and confront him.

That was would be longer than I thought.

_

Day 148

Entry 3, March 18

Dear Friends,

6

  saree em

I lay upon my bed. Frustrated to all ends. It's been... what... 7 days. A entire week as gone by. My spirits were high because of the people I wanted to see. I wanted to know more. I really forgot how bad everything was. But... I can't seem to go back. My emotions came flooding out one rough day, and they all spilled all over the floor. Tears were running so far down my face I was unable to move from my spot at the door. I was holding my door handle, pressing my forehead against the door. I didn't want to do anything right now.

I remembered the note book and burst into my room, getting some will left. I messily wrote and entry, one that has some dark thoughts in. Well this is my second entry ever. But it was much more... dark... then the other one. I then just put my head down on my desk. My parent's don't bother coming in, so I just drift off into sleep.

But when I woke up.

I was still at my desk.