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11.Jesus on the cross

I realized  how tired Jesus  must have been  as he underwent his suffering  carrying  his own cross. indeed  i completely  understood why he had gone to the garden  of Gethsemane  to plead with God to take away  his cup of  pain.

Simon  of serene  was indeed a God sent helper, if only I could  have found a savior like him to help me carry my cross (my box full of my belongings ) so that I could rest a little, it would have been  a wish come true. When the company commander arrived all hell broke loose, whoever said she was a devil to reckon with had been right all along

Commands were flying everywhere and people were flying here and there trying to obey them. I have never been so fascinated by someone this much,she could cough and people would worship her.
Serve her with a silver plate even.
She was a god.
A god trapped in a training camp full of people who craved discipline ,she could overturn situations in a flash of a second.

the flash should have been her third name.

One minute she makes you laugh your guts out the next minute you become stone faced or cold as ice.
In her best moments she was cool to be with ,as cool as a mouth watering red water melon.
Sweet even.

I vividly remember the instant she was introduced to us as our company commander,she told us that we could confide in her in all aspects of our stay in the camp and life in general.she argued that as long as we were there she was our mother,and we all know what mothers do when you mess around with them.

they mend you,

collect you so that you would be better,the hidden meaning hadn't raised any alarm to any of us.we were that naive.

She also cautioned us not to be scared if we missed our menses since with the training we were about to undertake it was bound to happen to some of us.
To those with high fertility rate and low stress effect ,they were excluded from the menses saga.
I wondered which group I would fall into.I was hard headed as it was,was training going to affect me in either of those ways?

Probably not,I was a hybrid.
Hybrids strive to exist in all environment ,right?

The struggle would be real but the straggler was unbeatable, I was a rare gem.
If Jesus made  it on the cross for the sins he didn't commit I sure as hell had to make it,I was a villain, a sinner,a school drop out.I had chosen this path by joining this race,and I had to finish this race no matter how many obstacles were placed in between to the final destination.
The big question though ,was I up to the task?
i had to be positive after all , they say that attitude is the key to any destination .

whatever the mind conceives be it positive or negative it receives.all i had to do is choose .

madam Grace a.k.a shetani(devil)the company commander or (cc)in short form, gave me and my colleagues no other choice but to be positive.in a way she was a mentor  and a destroyer at the same time.she could mold and carve you to be the best version of yourself as long as you were willing to follow orders without complain and work at any duty without being choosy irrespective of the post ,with all your might and mind.to be on the safe side you had to give training your all:your energy ,strength,will ,power and everything good and nice just like the power puff girls were made.

yeah i know ,i love cartoons ,what other better way to show it.

contrary to the above she automatically become your destroyer,she would make sure you were fatigued enough to see the irony in her name grace and the difference in its characteristics.her assistant madam Maggie  who was a senior service woman(SS11)  showed us her middle finger to strengthen the deer meaning the cc was talking about.she  would fuck up your life completely if you disobeyed or showed any  symptoms of being hard headed or rude.

she was touching on only a few topics about herself  and the do' s and don'ts that came from serving under her guidance,the real orientation was scheduled for the following day.for the current day we were advised to introduce ourselves to the fellow colleagues according to our tribes.it was the best way to break monotony.she had said.

Kenya has 42 tribes and i was shocked to realize that in our  barrack  all were represented,we were asked to sit according to our various  tribes which we easily did ,later on each tribe was to choose a leader who would introduce them to the others  and sing a favorite song from their  community the session was referred to as: nyimbo za kikwenu and for a first i enjoyed the moment fully it was fun and interesting.i wished it wouldn't end.

we spent the whole night under this session  ,in as much as i was fascinated by almost all the other tribes the luhya tribe had my full attention ,they had songs that were funny and inspirational in a good  way ,songs that were meant to raise your spirits in the camp,they swung themselves to the rhythm and everybody was gasping,their dancing styles was out of this world i wondered what else they could do apart from dancing so well -for that time was the only factor that could tell.despite the fact that nobody else apart from them understood the meaning  of their songs they had captured everybody's attention.

the taita's and the kamba's  had the looks but lacked the vibes in their songs  whereas the kikuyu's,kisii's and kalenjin's had the numbers,though as compared to the luhya's  they still lacked the vibes.other small tribes  like the maragoli ,masaai samburu  and turkana lacked the numbers but had funny styles of their own  similar to  their traditional background .if there was a  person who could have filmed the entire show he or she could have won an Oprah or get a CNN award of the year an Oscar even.too bad the night remained only as a memory in our minds.if the mind was like a removable memory card this story would be easier since it could be visual.but just as lupita said :your dreams are valid ,you get to picture that visual through me,right?

our escapade ended at around 3.00am  in the morning ,some of us had been drifting to sleep on and off the session  which was a punishable offence by the SS11, Maggie,around hundred out of the three hundred barrack mates were standing on their feet ,the funny thing though is that despite them being on their feet they still kept drifting to sleep,it was a view to behold.i was lucky to still be seated considering the fact that i was used to hitting the pillow ahead of time back at home.

to my surprise the  journey had just began ,we only had an hour to sleep and once we were summoned up -and by up i mean the madam stood at the door way and shouted uuuuup...it sounded like a dream but that was our cue that a new day had just began-the practical orientation day.

no whistle?

imagine that.

if we were to survive in this place it was clear that sleep would have the lest of our time in our busy schedules.and in my subconscious  mind i knew that this was going to be a very big problem that i had to turn into an opportunity in order to survive, with hope it helps me later in life.it was survival for the fittest and i had nothing to loose,i had to survive no matter what:for my daughter and my faith, it all came to that in the end.