You Said Remember Me

61

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After passing out exams Victoria returned to her desk to read through the papers the students had submitted. When the hall had been cleared out of students she finally left the building. It had been a week since the last Donghae had called her and that was all she wanted to recall of him. She'd been keeping herself too occupied with school work and arranging exams that she hadn't had time to grieve over the fact that they were no longer a couple. She'd always been a failure at keeping someone anyway.

Setting her textbooks down on the table in her home Victoria looked around. There was nothing left to do.

"Melodix, do you want to go look at some nice cheap apartments?" she asked.

The dog barked at her then ran back into her own room.

"Did you just say no?" she asked turning around. "Well, then I guess I can go visit In Seol today."

An hour after climbing into her car Victoria was already in the flower shop looking for any decent beautiful flowers she could find. When she finally left the store she drove to the graveyard and sat there talking to In Seol about how classes had gone and how she missed him.

"But too bad I didn't buy any drinks to have with you," Victoria said sitting beside the grave. "Next time...no maybe tomorrow I'll get some drinks for sure and we can share."

When she left the graveyard she didn't feel like returning to Seoul so she went inside a grocery store and bought a bunch of food. Before leaving the store she stopped outside to grab some apartment magazines. Night finally fell and Victoria finally returned back to Seoul after succeeding in wasting a days' time.

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Eunhyuk had watched Donghae take Hee Sun out too many times and had watched them eat together too much. He hadn't spoken to Donghae personally ever since the incident and he felt unhappy looking at them. It was hard for him to understand his best friend. He had often wondered how Donghae could still keep smiling at Hee Sun as if she were someone else.

Grabbing his jacket Eunhyuk went for a drive around the neighborhood and when he returned Donghae's car was still parked outside of the house. Heaving a sigh Eunhyuk went for the highway.

Eunhyuk walked toward the house and rung the doorbell. The barking of the dog told him that she was coming to the door. When the door did open she stared at him with uncertainty.

"I was driving by...this was the only place that came to mind," he greeted.

She just stared at him for a moment as if she'd let herself slip into another world.

Seconds later Victoria let him in closing the door after him. "I was just about to have something to eat. Do you want something?"

"Wow," he exclaimed after looking at all the grocery bags she had on the counter and table.

"I was just in Incheon a while ago. Take whatever you want," she told sitting at the table in the dining room, a bowl of soup in front of her.

"I can really...take anything?" Eunhyuk asked pointing to the salsa chips.

A minute later he found himself dining with her in the room while Melodix tried hopping onto their laps to get something to eat.

"You must be really rich or something," Eunhyuk commented. "This must have cost you hundreds."

"I was on a shopping spree, doesn't quite matter," Victoria told.

Eunhyuk glanced toward the boxes on the ground, "But what are those for?"

"I'm planning to move out."

"You're moving? Why? Isn't it nice here?"

"It is," Victoria told, "but Seoul...doesn't have what I was looking for."

"Then where are you going to go?"

"I don't know, Busan?" Victoria shrugged.

"Why would you want to go that far? Don't you have a good job at the university?"

Victoria remained silent, "A good job wasn't all that I was looking for. I was trying to find some peace and I was pretty sure Seoul was going to be my last stop, but seems my plans change."

"Is it...because of Hae?" Eunhyuk asked hesitantly.

Victoria paused, smiled, then continued eating. The changing expressions on her face made him feel odd...

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't bring that jerk up."

"You don't need to be so sensitive around me," Victoria assured. "It'll make me feel guilty in some ways."

Eunhyuk glanced at her. Her face didn't look as bright as it often had before and there was this feeling that was amiss from her.

"He was a great guy," she told. "He's such a kid that you can't help but let him have his way."

Eunhyuk was quiet then said, "I'm sorry. For Hee Sun, I'm sorry." He felt the need to apologize for some reason...

Victoria didn't say anything but continued smiling. "So...why are you here in Seoul?"

"Oh...that?" Eunhyuk asked. "I couldn't stand being at home. Say, do you want to move together? Not like cohabiting but just like...room mates."

"Are you crazy?"

"It won't be like we're going to be living together...right? We can split the rent," he added.

"If you were a girl," Victoria said, "but...doesn't Hee Sun need you to help her?"

"Hee Sun...doesn't need me." Eunhyuk replied. "I was planning to move out sooner or later anyway. I've already saved up money for it too. I'm already an adult, I'll move out if I want to move out."

"Then...if you find a nice place let me in on it too." Victoria replied.

They were quiet again before Eunhyuk spoke up, "Don't you often get lonely being alone?"

"I manage." Victoria was quiet again then continued, "How is...how are they doing? Good?"

Eunhyuk looked at her and couldn't quite help but feel sorry for her. She seemed to be struggling silently but didn't say anything about it. Had she cried a lot for his friend? Donghae had put her through so much meaningless miseries.

"Donghae is good, Hee Sun is healthy." Eunhyuk forced the words out of his mouth.

And that ended their conversation before he left. The door closed behind him but before he even walked toward his car Eunhyuk stopped in his tracks when he recognized Donghae's car slowly driving by. Walking toward him Eunhyuk waited till he scrolled down his window.

"Want to go out for a drink?" Eunhyuk asked.

They found themselves sitting at a small table inside a large red tent with two bottles of soju in front of them. After pouring each other drinks Eunhyuk took a loud breath.

"You still drive around there?" Eunhyuk asked.

"Why? What were you doing there?" Donghae returned him with another question.

Eunhyuk smiled, tilted his head, and looked at Donghae. "I hope she hasn't seen you around."

Donghae looked at him, "Why?"

"She's having a hard time and because of that...did you know," Eunhyuk began, "she's planning to move."

Donghae stared at his friend. "Why did she let you in?"

Eunhyuk poured himself another drink without answering.

"Do you want to make a bet?" Eunhyuk challenged. "If you really can't leave her then break off with Hee Sun. If you can remain this way for the rest of your life then I want to Victoria Song to become my friend."

Donghae's expression changed as he placed his cup down on the table. "You can't."

Eunhyuk smiled, "Why?"

"I want to ask you why." Donghae reversed the question.

Eunhyuk smiled again and tilted his head back while taking the rest of the shot. "I feel sad watching her find out that because you can't abandon Hee Sun, you choose to break off with her. I feel bad when she looks like she's trying to hold herself back from chasing you. I feel sorry to know that she's pretending everything's fine. I don't know her well, but I've had my moments. Or maybe I'm purposely doing this so you can go back to her, be yourself, and be happy because I know you never wanted to leave her in the first place. When I see your face with that smile for Hee Sun, it feels like I am you, and I'm beginning to hate it because you aren't happy."

Donghae watched as his friend poured himself another drink.

"Just until the baby is born," Donghae told.

"Then what are you going to do?" Eunhyuk asked, eyes remaining only on Donghae. "What if you feel so attached you actually become the baby's father?"

Donghae turned away, "Don't assume."

"Because it's possible? Huh?" Eunhyuk asked. "You're making me feel sorry toward her because Hee Sun's my sister. Do you get it? Do you understand why I feel so bad?"

"You don't need to feel bad."

"But I feel bad!" Eunhyuk raised his voice. "You don't know how bad this feels. I feel like I'm going to die if I ever let her see you two together. I feel so god damn guilty because Hee Sun's my sister, Hae." Victoria's plain, sad smile from just moments ago was engraved in his memory.

Donghae closed his eyes very slowly. Why was Eunhyuk suffering from a decision he made? Eunhyuk didn't need to be so affected by it. Unable to empathize with him he'd offered to take Eunhyuk back home, but he'd refused the offer. In the end he watched Eunhyuk drive off without looking back.

Eunhyuk drove on the highway for about ten minutes before he took the exit to circle back into Seoul. Clearly out of his mind he stopped his car in Victoria's driveway before he stumbled out and began knocking on her door. It was only after a minute and a half that she opened the door and he toppled forward.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry..." he apologized repeatedly leaning onto her.