You Said Remember Me

59

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Donghae stared at the empty chair before him. What was he to do? What could he do? He felt awful seeing Victoria with that hurt expression on her face. When she tried to hide her feelings...and he saw it so clearly yet he wasn't sure what he could do to suppress the ache.

"Be with me a while more." how ridiculous he'd been to even ask her that. He was just making things harder than they were supposed to be already.

He didn't sleep after she left but took a long hot shower and headed out for some air.

/////

Hee Sun stared at her phone, sighed, and placed it on her desk. Donghae hadn't been picking up her calls, why? Why was he suddenly ignoring her again? After all that special attention he'd given her...why was he leaving her empty again? Getting dressed for class she finally left the dorm late that afternoon.

The chill from the fall breeze was colder than it'd been the week before. Maybe she should have worn a sweater after all. She turned around to head back to the dorm but that person caught her eye. Turning back around Hee Sun watched as Victoria crossed the street toward the block she was standing on. Victoria...Hee Sun quickly followed her.

"You," her voice came loud, "can I talk to you?"

Hee Sun watched as Victoria stopped in her steps and slowly turn around. A stare of neutrality came from Victoria's eyes before she followed the girl back to the dorm. After grabbing her sweater Hee Sun met Victoria outside.

"You...you work here?" Hee Sun asked raising an eyebrow.

Victoria stared back at her and answered solidly, "Yes."

"You're not a student, are you?"

Victoria didn't reply.

"I heard...a teacher reported In Sook, was it you?" Hee Sun questioned.

Victoria only stared at her. Looking at Hee Sun only brought her images of Donghae. She felt lost, confused, and deeply angered.

Hee Sun smiled as if she'd defeated Victoria in a game. "Why? Did you find out I'm pregnant from oppa? But how would you know about In Sook?"

"Why are you pinning this on me?" was all Victoria asked.

Hee Sun just stared at her without a word. Victoria glanced at Hee Sun once more before she walked away. Hee Sun watched her feeling an urge to run after her, but didn't. Why was she acting so smart? Why did she have to answer her question with a question?

When Victoria disappeared from sight Hee Sun turned around to walk to class trying to ignore the depressing scream she was feeling. If she never saw that woman with her oppa again, she'd feel more like living.

/////

Victoria hadn't expected her mood to take a shift when the day had already begun. She'd drank two cups of coffee that morning to keep herself awake and made sure she was super busy. When she opened the door from the third floor she caught sight of Donghae lurking around her office. One of the first time he'd come back. Without even trying to think about turning back she forced her feet forward. No feeling of excitement filled her this time because she knew all too well about the future.

"How was class?" he asked as she unlocked the door.

"Did you just get here?" Victoria walked into her office.

"Have you had lunch? Lets go for a buffet, hmm?"

"I don't feel very hungry," Victoria replied before feeling a wave of disappointment from both sides penetrate the room. Looking up at Donghae's face Victoria immediately said, "Ok. Lets go."

Lunch was the same as any other day, only there was less casual talk between them. They were too sensitive toward each other and restrained from talking about anything other than work. If felt weird, that for the first time they felt like strangers just getting to know each other again. Victoria didn't know whether to let the disappointment become consciously clear or to pretend she didn't feel it at all. But Donghae did the same so she decided it wouldn't hurt to hide it.

When they returned to the psychology department Victoria turned around to look at him.

"You don't need to walk me any further," she told, and the look on his face made her feel immediately guilty. "You have a lot of work to do, don't you?"

"Can I just...sit and watch you?" Donghae asked quietly.

Victoria felt an invisible string tug her heart. It was more painful than she'd imagined when he tried to stay around.

"Ok." she responded before turning around to walk up the stairs.

She couldn't even hold hands with him. How far were they planning to drift apart before calling an end to this game? Even as she walked down the hallway she could feel him directly behind her. And it was like that, the pain slowly stretching between them yet they didn't separate physically.

/////

"Then...will oppa bring me home?" Hee Sun questioned.

"Don't do anything foolish," Eunhyuk warned over the phone. "Wait for me a few hours and I'll be there to get you."

"But I want to go home right away," Hee Sun replied.

"Hee Sun-ah, why don't we figure out a way so that you won't have to go home for a while?"

"Why!"

"Hee Sun, you know what I'm saying."

Hee Sun was silent whether because she was upset or because she didn't know what to say, Eunhyuk wasn't sure, but it didn't give him a good feeling.

"I'll get Donghae oppa to bring me home. I'll make sure nothing happens," Hee Sun assured. "Ok, Eunhyuk? I'll just see you back at home." And with that she hung up.

After sighing she found Donghae's number and called him. This time he answered.

"Oh...Hee Sun." his un-energetic voice came.

"Oppa, Eunhyuk is being held back because of work today, do you think you can take me home?" Hee Sun asked innocently.

"I'll be there."

/////

Victoria looked up from her plate of food. His conversation was too clear for her to not understand it. Donghae hung up and didn't look at her.

"Just go," Victoria told. "You're going to come back anyway."

"I'll go after I take you back."

"No. Just go...Donghae." Victoria almost choked on the words.

Finally after watching him nod he got up from where he was sitting and made his way out the front door. After he left Victoria also got up and walked away from the table. That feeling of darkness overshadowed her. It became clear that she was going to lose him.

/////

Hee Sun smiled and jumped a little when Donghae's car became visible in the parking lot. Hurrying down the stairs she walked toward him.

"Oppa!" she greeted cheerily.

He smiled back at her without energy on his face.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "You look like you're using all your effort just to smile. Were you sick?" She reached her hand up to touch his forehead but Donghae turned away before she could even touch him.

Taking her bag he said, "Lets go."

The drive back to Incheon was a quiet one. Donghae didn't play along with her this time around. He only sat quietly while the radio DJ blared on about whatever gossips there were. Seeing him like that Hee Sun decided to keep quiet. When the car stopped in front of the house Donghae got out from the driver's side.

"Oppa, I can go in myself," Hee Sun insisted. "Oppa, drive back safely, ok?"

"I'll walk you in," Donghae told taking a hold of her bag.

Hee Sun stared back at him with a worried expression on her face, "Oppa, it's ok. I can go by myself."

He glanced at her. Her growing belly was so visible that he wondered if Victoria ever had difficulty being by herself. Without saying anything he walked pass her and toward the front door. After ringing the doorbell her parents came to the door.

"Donghae! What are you doing here?" Eunhyuk's mother sounded delighted. "Come in! Hurry up, Hee Sun! I cooked your favorite food!"

Pulling at her shirt carefully Hee Sun followed Donghae in. For the first time she was wondering if she could pull through without Eunhyuk around.

Grabbing Donghae's shirt from behind she whispered, "Oppa, just go now. I'm already in the house."

Donghae didn't turn around but continued talking with her parents as if he hadn't heard her at all. She was afraid they'd find out when he was there. The humiliation she'd feel in front of them, she didn't want Donghae to see.

"Hee Sun?" her father called. "What are you doing standing over there?"

Hee Sun felt her heart skip a beat. Still she walked toward them and turned to Donghae.

"Oppa, go home."

"Ok." Donghae bid her parents farewell and began taking a step away only stopping when he heard a gasp.

Turning around he watched Eunhyuk's mom cover her mouth with both her hands and an expression of surprise, shock, and overwhelming anger take her dad's face. Hee Sun bit her bottom lip as she looked on at them.

"Mom, dad...I'm having a baby..." Hee Sun managed with her shaky voice.