You Said Remember Me

76

/////

Donghae reluctantly returned to his home. His heart felt sore and he was physically tired even though he hadn't done much. Sadness overwhelmed him but there wasn't a correct way for him to express it. He didn't want anyone to see that he was sad. Eunhyuk...was with Victoria...so hopefully she wouldn't be too lonely or sad. It'd hurt him more if he knew that she was even more miserable. He...just missed her. And again and again he was walking in the same circle.

/////

"Huh? No, I'm ok," Victoria said turning over the pork they were grilling in the middle of the table.

"You don't have to lie to me," Eunhyuk told keeping his eyes on the grill.

Victoria declared, "I'll be as good as new in the morning if I just fill up my stomach without any thoughts right now. If you eat when you're distressed all you'll gain from it is fat."

"Ok, I won't say anything. Do ignore me," he said.

They ate silently and Victoria tried to swallow the pain down her throat. Every bite she swallowed she could feel herself welling up with the tears that wanted to come out so bad. After every mouthful she'd grab her glass of water and drain the whole cup and ask for more water. Eunhyuk paused every now and then to look at her feeling pity for them all. There was nothing they could do to make everyone feel better. Anyhow if one did feel better the other would be miserable. It was just like that.

"Lets take a walk," Victoria suggested. "If I go home now I wouldn't have anything to do."

"Ok," Eunhyuk nodded.

They strolled along the streets in silence watching others cross the street and cars drive pass. Eunhyuk hadn't known Seoul to be such a silent city when one needed company. No one cared and no one looked at them. Really, it felt like they were isolated among the crowd of people. And it felt as if Victoria's sadness was oozing out of her and getting into him, there was no escape.

When the sky totally darkened and they stopped before the crosswalk waiting for the lights to give way for them, it began to drizzle the kind of cold rain that usually fell during the most critical times in a drama series. While Eunhyuk looked up toward the sky feeling the cold drops on his face did Victoria belt it out. When he turned back to look at her he found her squatting on the ground hugging herself. And even as the people rushed across the street no one took notice of her. Eunhyuk just watched her for a long moment as if he were a passerby. Finally he slowly pulled her up to her feet holding her in his arms with a comforting hand behind her head.

The next day he saw her and saw her again that following day. She was able to pull herself together and continue as if she'd never fallen at all. It was good to see her like that. Eunhyuk went back and forth between Incheon and Seoul as if he lived in both places. When he returned home he'd often run into Hae and there was also Hee Sun, who remained quiet. Life...would have to move on this way for them.

/////

And life moved on as usual even when he didn't have Victoria near him. Hee Sun seemed more gentle and kinder. He'd gone out for his first friendly drink with Eunhyuk a few days ago and all felt fine. Just perfectly fine and it'd only been almost a week before Hee Sun created drama again.

/////

It was the first time in a while since her oppa had taken her out for a meal. The past week she'd returned home often with Eunhyuk or her oppa and had eaten her meals comfortably at home. Feeling nauseous so often she had relied on her mom for help. She also wanted to make her oppa favor her and the only way she knew to do so was to be patient with him. So during that week she hadn't thrown a fit, but her mind was throwing her over.

She was becoming quietly moody and depressed often wondering why her oppa never saw her as a woman. She felt broken, her heart felt lost and helpless. She wanted to be held in his arms, but he hadn't even initiated to hold hands with her ever since she'd told him about her pregnancy-it made her feel lonely even when he was there with her, as if he weren't there when he really was there. Every little thing he did she noticed. Whenever he wasn't paying attention she felt sad and wondered how she could get him to listen to her. What was he thinking about? Why did he drift in and out of their conversations so much? If she were someone else he would have turned to look at her without even asking for his attention. He felt different...no, the way he was toward her the night after she'd taken the picture from him was different. Her oppa was lenient like he always was, but it was a kind of cold niceness he gave her. She wanted her oppa only for herself. She had tried giving him time by not speaking about her feelings, but one week felt too long. Hee Sun was impatient with time. It'd been all her life that she'd been waiting and she wanted to jump onto him to mark him as hers, but he made it hard.