One Night

Month 2

Savanna's POV 

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted. I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted. And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine. Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you? When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you? Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving. I remember the make-up running down your face. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them. Like every single wish we ever made. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia And forget about the stupid little things Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you And the memories I never can escape. 

'Cause I'm not fine at all

The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone. I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around. It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on. It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long

It's like we never happened, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? 'Cause I'm not fine at all. I remember the day you told me you were leaving. I remember the make-up running down your face. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them, Like every single wish we ever made. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia And forget about the stupid little things; Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you And the memories I never can escape

If today I woke up with you right beside me Like all of this was just some twisted dream. I'd hold you closer than I ever did before And you'd never slip away And you'd never hear me say: I remember the day you told me you were leaving. I remember the make-up running down your face. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them Like every single wish we ever made.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia And forget about the stupid little things: Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all

No, I'm really not fine at all

Tell me this is just a dream

'Cause I'm really not fine at all

*Amnesia by 5SOS* 

Going back to work was honestly the best thing I could have done. It gave me something to do while I coped with the loss of my boy--Chris. I went through the normal stages of a break up: desperate for answers; I called him once or twice just to know why and I reread that note so many times; denial; I just didn't want to believe after EVERYTHING we went through to get where we were, he just threw it out of the window; I called him back to see if we could make things work, but my pride and anger refused to let me say anything on the phone to his voice-mail, he never answered my calls; anger; this stage included a lot of ice cream, not sure if it was because of how I was feeling or it was a craving, I still couldn't believe I was carrying this little life inside of me, and finally I just accepted it. There was nothing I could do to change his mind. But the thought crossed my mind to tell him about our little boy or girl, and a bigger part of my mind crushed it. I was still slightly mad and I didn't want to share the child he left me with. I could take care of it. I had Sam, Kate and Alexander. I'd-- no, we'd---be ok without him.