I'm Not Sorry - Trixya

- 1 -

Katyas POV

I feel the harsh wind against my face. The salty tear trails on my cheeks sting in the cold as I stumble closer to the edge. I know it wasn't meant to end this way. But the world has a funny way of screwing you over.

The lights are so pretty.

I look down as I walk, the demons in my head silent for some reason even though they're the ones who are making me do this. The only times they've ever been quite it's always been for her. I guess it is her in a way. And I know that's unfair on her.

I wish I had her here. I just need to say goodbye. To tell her that I love her. That I'll miss her. To have one last hug, her soft blonde hair in my face, those beautiful bright blue eyes piercing mine and those soft pink lips leaving one last mark on my cheeks.

Suddenly the voices were back and they were screaming louder than ever causing me to double over and pull my hair. The pain caused by it is unbelievable. I drop onto the ground completely, not far from the edge as I feel the flashbacks come.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

"Hey Kats? I have something important to tell you." She said softly looking down at her lap. I smile softly and grab her hand, bringing it close to me.

"You know you can tell me anything. And I can't tell anyone anything anyway because they all think I'm crazy." I respond trying to lighten the mood.

She cracks a wide smile before pulling me down and cuddling me on top of her pastel pink bed sheets. "I knew I could count on you. Kats... I'm gay. I think.."

I smile at her before hugging her closer and tighter. "Thank you for trusting me to say that. You're so brave and I'm so proud......."

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

I gasp for air and try to stand but fall back into a ball as I sob hysterically.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

I sat in my room as the voices started to return. I hadn't seen Trixie in a few days and even though I've been going so well you can't ignore mental illness. It never goes away.

We'll hurt her if we have to. She has to stay away. You're too dangerous. You'd hurt her more than we would. Push her away Katya. Katya. Katya. Listen to me. Hurt her. Katya.

"Katya baby listen to me. Listen to my voice." The sweet voice was music to her ears but she couldn't move from her ball in the corner of the room. "Kats. You haven't left your room all day so when you didn't go get your meds tonight your mom asked me to check on you."

"I'm sorry." I whimper pathetically as her arms hold me close. Hurt her "shut up." I add to myself making Trixies eyes soften further.

"How many times have I told you "Katya" you don't have anything to apologise to me for. I promised I'd always be here for you." She murmured stroking my cheek.

"What would I do without you?" I mumbled with a strained voice.

"Probably die. Come on. Let's get some meds into you."

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

I let out a scream as my mind kept replaying things I wanted to push away.