Going Back to Sitio Ignacio

Simula

Motivation

I've been living my dream quite some time now. Being a writer makes me wander on things that are close to impossible. For the last five years I made my dreams come to life.  But lately, my inner drive to write is slowly fading.  Feels like I can't find any motivation that could boost my creativity and imagination as a writer. That's why I decided to take a vacation at my grandparents hometown where my Mother grew up and had lived most of her life before she died. Umaasa akong dito ako makakahanap ng panibagong inspirasyon na makapagbabalik ng gana kong magsulat at makapag-isip ng magagandang bagay.

I always believe that every writer will experience a certain point in their career where they will lose their appetite to write. But in my case, I don't want my career to be taken away from me just because I can't imagine things.  C'mon, everyone can imagine things but in my case as a professional writer, I should not only imagine things that any minute will be gone or will be replaced by another scenario. I need to be constant on the things that my mind creates.

Simula nang umuwi ako rito dalawang linggo na ang nakakaraan, palagi akong gumigising nang umaga. Part of my routine is to run and part of it is to witness the sun rises. It's a beautiful thing to witness lalo na kapag nasa burol ka.

Bago ako umalis ng bahay ng lolo't lola ko ay nagtimpla muna ako ng kape. Sinigurado ko rin muna na naka-lock ng maayos ang mga pinto. Ligtas naman dito dahil malapit lang sa isa't isa ang mga kabahayan. Kaya lang para makasigurado lang din dahil alas 4 pa lang ng umaga at madalim pa.

I checked my tote bag first before I start walking to the hill. Usually, iniiwan ko lang ang bag ko sa may lilim ng puno bago ako magsimulang tumakbo na. Hindi naman din ako lumalayo sa may puno kaya safe lang ang mga gamit ko.

Before the sun rises, I was already sweating from running back and forth around the hill. Napakasarap ng hangin dito palibhasa hindi pa gaanong sibilisado. May mga konting planta at pabrika naman ngunit wala masyadong mga sasakyan at hindi gaanong marami ang tao. Walang polusyon kumbaga kaya presko.

Hindi lang naman din ako ang nagja-jogging dito tuwing umaga. May iilan din na tumatakbo. Tsaka safe rin dahil maaga gumising ang mga tao dito lalo na ang mga trabahador sa kalapit na plantation ng niyog. Biggest in the country. Ayon na rin sa kwento ng lolo't lola ko.

After I watched how beautiful the sunrise is, I left the hill. I just realized that the sunrise is the mark of new beginning for these people who seem to be so contented of their life and routine in the countryside. Funny because I envy them. To be honest, I am also looking for this kind of stability in my life. But I still haven't found it...yet.

Pumunta na ako sa malapit na karenderya para magkalaman man lang ang tiyan ko. I guess, coffee and skyflakes are not enough. I'm not dieting however I hate eating heavy meals kapag umaga lalo na at tatakbo pa ako.

At dahil hindi pa masyadong sibilisado ang Sittio Ignacio, konti pa lang ang mga establishment at maliliit lang din 'di gaya sa siyudad na kahit saan ka tumingin kaliwa't kanang mga building ang makikita mo. Though seeing a place that is not as crowded as Manila makes my mind relaxed. Not to mention the air I breathe is a manifestation of what they call 'fresh air.'

My decision in going back here is not bad at all kahit sa kabilang bayan pa ako makakabili ng mga kailangan ko. Toiletries, skin care products at iba pang kailangan ko.

I was 8 years old when I left this place. At least that's what I can remember. I was young back then but my mom and I had created memories here.

When we went to Manila, my mom worked as a waitress in a restaurant inside a hotel. I studied in a public school until my senior high school. After high school, that's when life happens to me. My mom got sick with breast cancer. It was stage 4 when we found about it. Mahirap lang kami and mom needed to work for us. Kaya kahit may nararamdaman na siyang masakit hindi siya kailanman nagpa-konsulta sa doktor. That's why we weren't able to win against our fight with her condition. Gaano ko man kagustong habaan pa ang kaniyang buhay ay alam kong imposible. Hindi ko hawak ang buhay ng kahit sino lalo na ng mga doktor.