Night Changes

Canada

(Hero)

I was a fucking idiot.

I had completely disregarded everything Michael told me out of pure fear of losing her and that she didn't feel the same way.

When she had told me that she wanted to talk to me, my hopes of her finally telling me she loves me skyrocketed. But to be told that there were rumors being spread about the logistics of our relationship instead twisted something inside of me.

We had started to become the object of the media's affection, our private life twisted into something it wasn't.

Part of me wishes we had a relationship like the one that was described. Maybe that way, we'd actually be able to do things that normal couples would do.

I know Jo and I both said that we'd be willing to out our relationship to the world, but it was easier said than done.

I knew once we did that, life would never be the same for us. And I wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

We could barely get our shit together as it was. With the pressures of the rest of the world knowing, we'd be done for.

I hated that I hurt her, but I couldn't help but fear for what was to come.

I felt like an idiot for insisting we take things day by day, seeing that the end of this tour was rapidly approaching, and I hadn't even mentioned to her that I signed a movie deal yet.

What were we supposed to do when the other was filming, or lands yet another job?

I didn't expect Jo to come with me, but I'm sure if I told her we could've worked something out.

I should've told her. There was no reason not to.

But once again, my fears overcame me and I figured if I told her, we'd feel pressured to make a decision about what we were going to do.

Not that it matters, I clearly made that decision yesterday when I told her we should give ourselves time to figure out what we were going to do.

We had plenty of fucking time.

We didn't need any more time.

I've spent too much time away from her.

What we needed was to figure our shit out and stop wasting time.

But I knew Jo wasn't in the mood to figure anything out with me at the moment.

She hadn't spoken an entire word to me on the flight to Canada, and I doubt she'd be saying much to me at all.

Maybe it was for the best that we took some time to decide what we wanted to do.

But I hoped that things would work out in our favor, because regardless how she felt, I loved her.

Boy did I love her.

And I wanted nothing more than to make this work with her.

For her.

(Jo)

I stare aimlessly at the wall across from me as Tânia finishes curling my hair for our day in Canada.

I felt numb, emotionless.

I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of Hero once again wanting to cut things off between us.

We had done everything we could to try and make things work, but they wouldn't.

Reality pulled us back down from our cloud, and suddenly we were thrust into a world of rumors and speculation.