It's Not Real, Darling // Spam Book 2

So um

So um...

I didn't go to school today...

I was up until 4:45am bawling my eyes out until I eventually cried myself to sleep...

I wrote a sad Peter Parker fic last night which I'm going to post today. I just need to find the strength to re-read it and look out for mistakes or anything that doesn't make sense...

I tried making it as descriptive as possible and the prologue alone (I've only written the prologue so far because feels) is 1800+ words and the whole time I was writing those words a piece of my heart was ripped out of my chest again...

I also tried making the cover look really sad but cool at the same time....It will be edited again probably because the picture isn't a good quality but it catches the essence and emotions in which the book will portray....

I'm thinking of only making this sad fic a SHORT fic because I don't know how much of heartbreak I can take since y'all know I'm 3000% obsessed with Spider-Man/Peter Parker (and the actor who plays him) so seeing all this sad stuff in my mind really feels like a knife is stabbing into my chest....

I'm so emotionally involved with Peter and he's so relatable that seeing him be upset as well as get dusty just broke my heart...

But after endgame I've been getting so many mental breakdowns and I've been emotionally numb because of my emotional attachment to characters...It's a real issue, I get so emotionally invested in characters that if anything happens to them it's just game over for Mollie's heart...

Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy the story because it may touch upon real issues regarding depression. I would love to make it so people see how real depression can be regarding the circumstances Peter's in and what had happened but I've never exactly written anything sad like this before so this was allll NEW to me. I'm not an amazing writing either so it could flop, I don't want you to hold my words that it will show how real depression is because depression can be different for everybody and I'm just not a good enough writer to portray extremely low emotions in my writing...

I don't want to disappoint you but I don't know how the story will end up but I'll keep trying...

I don't know how fast updates will be either for it because I'm already writing a Tom Holland zombie fic in my drafts too, I'm still working on Caged by FW as well as Hot Blooded and as well as Game of Survival. I also still have a few other books in my drafts that I've been working on since Christmas but I had just never gotten round to finishing the few chapters of so behind the scenes I really am working on so many books at once and I get new plot ideas a lot so I write them down in a book in my drafts and come back to it when my other books have finished.

I am planning on hopefully finishing writing some books I already have published because so far I've only got ONE completed book and the others are all ONGOING or haven't been published yet.