I shook my head.
Everything was so foggy in here. I could smell the perfume, and the cat. The cat box smelled intriguing, I could smell that this cat ate well. Fish, chicken, and something with rice. But no mice or rats, definitely an indoor cat. Probably with more than enough fat to make a good meal. I felt the tug to find her, but I knew that she would not approve. And I knew that the old woman driving the bus who reeked of weeds would kick us off the bus.
She was smelling relaxed again. I breathed it in and it made me relax. My muscles unwinding a little. Somehow the scent of her rode atop all the other competing scents and curled down inside of my core.
I put on a show of cleaning myself to help her relax. She watched for a moment and then there was the sharp bloom of arousal. I felt myself rising. And she moved away as a new fear smell emerged layered in with all the others. I froze and dropped back, such a confusion of thoughts, intriguing but frustrating.
All of a sudden I found myself thinking that I never saw her cleaning herself. Interesting to note that her body was no longer human but it continued in many ways to act as if it was still human. Maybe old habits die hard? Or perhaps once the brain is wired up in a particular way it takes Dr. Shen to rend or break it down.
The cat.
I'd tracked a feral cat or two, but the hunters never seemed interested in the small ones.
I glanced around and realized that I couldn't see, not as much as usual. Something was missing. But I couldn't tell what. I shook my head.
I felt half blind. Somehow. But then I wondered if I'd just felt that way since I woke up that morning. The world that I normally saw was not there where it should be.
I'd felt part of my sight go away right when we got into this bus. I would have gone back outside, but I could hear that trucker right outside. So I stayed, his voice grated on me. And I know he'd shot at her. I wanted to bite his throat deep and shake him by the neck for that, but he had a gun and in the parking lot of the rest area there was no cover.
I was happy at the thought of him finding the present that I'd left for him in the truck bed.
I was bothered by the memory of my fear in truck trailer. I realized that I hadn't done any physical tests for a long time. Only hunting but nothing that broke my bones like before. I realized that I was afraid of breaking bones now. I ddin't have Shen to patch me up and I realized that I was being more cautious. Somehow I had more to lose than before. I still didn't understand why I'd felt so frightened of the car trailer. It felt good to use my body again. I felt powerful again.
To run freely through the forest was to feel my muscles ripple in harmony. To know my true purpose and to feel one with the living land beneath my paws. I was a thing of the wild who was never meant to be in a metal box. Oh I'd become accustomed to it, but I never felt at home. But in the forest padding along with the breeze and the gentle rustle of leaves I was connected.
A part of me delighted in the fact that I knew Miss Cleo was trapped behind me. Too frightened to walk past.
I closed my eyes, but I was still blinded. Maybe if I slept? I wondered. I never remember being blind like this before. So many new memories since she had escaped the lab and I had been sent to track her down.
It made me nauseous to think about the lab and the experiments.
Then I could smell her again, and she was scared for a few minutes and then angry but she seemed ok. The arousal did not return. It must be her memories that were causing it.
I decided that I would lay down on the floor and let the music wash over me. Let the warm thrum of the road bring the darkness of sleep.
