Marry Me

Chapter 20

     I took a seat next to Mark and blew out a sigh. Today was Chelsea's wedding shower, which I didnt even know was a thing.

     Everyone mingled around the back yard, but I stayed huddled with my brother in the back. I didn't really want to be here. After her being late and then bailing on my graduation, I wasn't all that thrilled with her.

     My eyes settled on Chelsea and I suppressed a groan. She had on a pink sundress and tall white heels. She flitted around the yard, chatting with everyone who stopped her. God she looked beautiful.

     That ever present guilt crept back into my brain and clouded the beautiful weather the day had started with.

     Even though I was angry with her... she took my breath away when she dressed up. I tapped the lump my phone made in my pocket, wishing Alondra would call and save me from this Hell... but she was busy at doctor appointments with Lissie.

     Mark noticed my fidgeting and asked "How are you handling all this?" I shrugged, and tore my gaze away from Chelsea. I pushed my hair out of my eyes and reminded myself to get a damn haircut.

     "I guess it's okay. I really like Alondra, and I have done really well not thinking about Chelsea. Although... the wedding setting isn't helping."

     "Maybe you should skip the wedding?" He asked. I shook my head. I needed to go. I needed to watch her marry someone else. That would be the final nail in the coffin of "Chris and Chelsea 4 ever", and I could completely move on.

     "I need to see it come to a close, Mark. I need to know there will never be a chance for us." I told him. Mark sipped his drink for a few moments, then asked "Do you want there to be a chance?"

     I hesitated. I really didn't know. I wanted to explore this thing with Alondra... but I had wanted Chelsea for so long.

     "I dont know." I finally answered. Mark nodded, but said nothing. Together we sat and watched Chelsea. Anthony was stuck at work but would be here soon, and that's when I would definitely be leaving.

     Eventually the silence was broken when Mark said "I think instead of suppressing the feelings... you need to feel them and then let them go."

     I looked at him like he had four eyes. He leaned forward and said "Nah man, I'm serious. I know it sounds like some hippy shit or somthing but it's been doing wonders for my stress and stuff. You just let the emotion happen, feel it a bit, and then tell it to fuck off."

     I rolled my eyes but sat back and thought about it. Ignoring it doesn't seem to be working, so maybe his weird shit will work.

     Chelsea caught my eye and made a bee line for our small table. I supressed a groan and stood when Chelsea reached us. She threw her arms around me and I awkwardly hugged her back.

     She was wearing my favorite perfume on her. It was fruity, with a little hint of... something. I didn't even know what, but all I knew was that everytime she wore it, it made it hard to think.

     She grinned at Mark and said "I'm so glad you guys could come!" Mark raised his glass in return and took a drink. I offered Chelsea a seat and sat back down. She stole my water glass and took a quick sip and said "I just can't believe this is happening."

     "Yea, neither can I." I said. Mark eyed me for a second but I looked away. Chelsea started rambling on about the day of the wedding, the schedule, and all that. I retained none of it, but smiled and nodded as she spoke.

     Thankfully, Chelsea's mother called out "Everyone, the groom is here!" the crowd cheered, and I gave my brother the "time to go" signal. He nodded back and when Chelsea excused herself, we disappeared out of the side gate.

     As we hurried across the road I looked at him and said "Are you really serious about that 'Feel it and fuck off' thing?"

     "Serious as a heart attack, little brother."
    

     I nodded a d followed him inside. I knew I had a lot of feelings coming my way tomorrow... and I was going to tell them all to fuck right off.