Marry Me

Chapter 16

     Three weeks had gone by since Mario called, and I had been distancing myself from Alondra ever since. I hadn't heard her voice in over a week, and I hated it.

     Exams kept me busy, and today was my last final. I was going to graduate in just a few weeks, as long as I didn't bomb any of the tests. Unfortunately that was very possible considering focusing on almost anything but Alondra and Chelsea was very difficult.

     Chelsea never remembered our kiss, which hurt a little but was mostly fine by me. I didn't want to have to deal with that, and especially not with Anthony. I felt like I could take him in a fight but that would make the wedding incredibly awkward.

     I was sitting in my car, enjoying a much deserved milkshake from McDonalds when my phone rang. I picked up my phone and choked on my drink when I saw Alondras face smiling out at me.

    She had stopped trying to call me a while ago, so this random Thursday afternoon call had me concerned. After a few seconds of hesitation, I answered the call.

     "Hello?"

     "Chris... I'm um.. I'm glad you answered." She sniffled. My heart lurched and I asked "Alondra? What's wrong?"

     I heard murmuring in the background, and she answered in a soft voice back in Spanish.

     "I um, I know you have been busy with school and whatever else but um... My grandmother had a minor stroke early this morning and is in the hospital."

     "What?" I gasped. I could see Lissie's smile as she waved at me from the front door as I drove home from my last visit. How could she go from so happy and care free... to laid up in a hospital bed?

     "Is she... is she okay?" I asked, begging her to say yes. Alondra hesitated, and I wretched my seatbelt across my body. That hesitation was all I needed to know that everything wasn't okay.

     Alondra cleared her throat and said "She's stable, just resting. They are running tons of tests and keeping her here for a while. I just thought that you would want to know."

    That God damn guilt crashed over me like a tsunami. I instantly regretted the last three weeks. She should have been able to call me the second this happened, instead of hours later. I wondered if she waited that long because she was busy, or she was scared I wouldn't answer.

     "Send me the address to the hospital. I'll be there soon."

     "Chris you don't have to dri-"

     "Yes I do, Alondra." I cut her off. I threw my car in drive and headed towards the interstate that I knew would lead me straight to Alondra.

     "I need to be there. I need to see her and... and I need to see you." I choked out. The line was silent, and I was afraid she had hung up.

     "Alondra?" I asked. Another moment of silence passed by before I heard her whisper "Okay. I'll send it."

     "Thank you. I'll see you soon. Everything will be okay." I told her, then I hung up.

     I was supposed to go home for the weekend, but my parents would understand. I couldn't let her go through this alone.

*        *       *       *        *

     I made the trip in record time. Alondra was standing by the doors of the hospital as I ran up the long walkway. She wore a sweater that had to be her grandfathers. It was a dark grey and swallowed her up. The sleeves were pushed up, and it hung below her waist.

     She looked like a little girl playing dress up. Her eyes were puffy, and void of all makeup. Her lip quivered as I came to a stop infront of her.

     We stared at each other a long time before I slowly reached out for her. In two short steps she slammed into my chest and dissolved into tears. I crushed her too me and stroked her hair as she sobbed into my t-shirt.

     "I'm so sorry, Alondra. I'm sorry." I said repeatedly. She wrapped her arms around me and held me just has hard as she cried. I awkwardly shuffled us over to a near by bench and pulled her down next to me.

     I held her close and let her cry. Each sob cracked my heart deeper, until I literally thought it would crumble inside my chest.

     I dont know how much time past, but eventually her sobs turned into quiet hiccups, which also stopped. We sat in silence for a long time while I rubbed her arm. I opened my mouth many times to say somthing, but never could settle on what to say.

     Finally, I was pulled out of my thoughts when her raspy voice asked "Why did you stop talking to me?"

     That was it. That was the final crack in my heart. I physically felt the pain in my chest of my heart falling to pieces. I bit back tears and it all spilled out.

     "I kissed Chelsea a few weeks ago at that party." I confessed. Alondra stiffened against me, and she slowly sat up. It took all my will power not to drag her back to me. I missed her warmth against my chest.

     "Oh." Was all she said. I felt sick. I leaned forward and took a few deep breaths before saying "I didn't like it. It felt so wrong, for obvious reasons... but mainly because it wasn't your lips I was kissing.
    
     'That next morning, your brother called and told me I needed to man up and commit or to let you go, and he was right. I was stringing you along and taking advantage of your patience. I should have gotten over her first and then started seeing you."

     Tears started to fall from my eyes, and as I rambled I watched them hit the concrete like pathetic raindrops from a self-loathing storm cloud.

     "So I decided to let you go... but I have missed you every second since that day. I just don't deserve you and didn't want to hurt you in any way.  Which I'm sure sounds stupid because I just tried to fall off the face of the earth instead of talk to you like a man, and I'm so incredibly sorry about it. About all of it."

     Alondra didn't say anything. I just sat there and watched the tears hit the ground, painting a depressing water color portrait of my inner turmoil on the white walkway.

     I felt her hand slowly begin to rub my back. Was she really comforting me? After all that I put her through?

     A few moments later she said "I forgive you."

     I sat up straight and turned to her. Her eyes shimmered with more tears but they didn't fall.

     "How?" I whispered. She lifted her right hand and placed it against my cheek. I leaned against her hand for a moment, and she said "Because I understand. You were put into a weird position and you were doing your best to not hurt me. You wanted me to move on and leave you to your issues."

     "But the thing is.." she continued, "I dont want to. I know we haven't known each other very long but you're the only guy I have ever been able to fully be myself around. I feel safe and important and... happy when I'm with you. I want to be with you and I want to see how far this thing can go."

     I put my hand over hers, and turned to kiss her palm. Looking into her eyes I said "I don't deserve you."

     She smiled softly and said "Because you think that, you most definitely do."

     Smiling, I leaned forward and hesitantly kissed her. When she kissed me back, everything in my world felt right again.

     After a long time, she finally pulled away. Wiping my face with her thumb she said "If you want to see her, we better go inside. Visiting hours end at eight."

     I nodded and stood up. Hand in hand we went inside the hospital.