The Fate of Miss Sutherland (A Sherlock Holmes Fanfiction story)

Chapter Eight

To my relief, James Windibank had gone off on another trip unexpectedly, so I was not forced to endure another awkward meal with him. Still, I could hardly sleep that night. My mind raced with anxious thoughts and questions raised by Hosmer Angel's letter.

"What are your plans for today, my dear?" Mother asked at breakfast.

"Oh, Miss Carter asked me to shop for hats with her," I said. It was the story Evangeline and I had settled on to explain my absence from home.

"Hats?" Mother repeated sounding surprised. "My dear, is the extravagance really necessary?"

"I didn't say I was going to buy any," I said, struggling to keep my stone reasonable. Why was my every purchase questioned as of late? It was my money to do with as I pleased. "Miss Carter would like my advice on some of the new styles."

"And that is all you are going to do? Shall I expect you back for luncheon?"

I really shouldn't have been surprised that she would be so interested in my plans. It had been thus for the past year, which made the shadow that occasionally turned up simply ridiculous. Still, I didn't want to admit I was going to St. Saviour's, not when my mother had said Hosmer Angel was not real.

What would she say if she knew I was meeting the man where he had abandoned me?

"No, I think Miss Carter and I are making a day of it," I said, spreading jam on my toast. "She said something about introducing me to Mr. Weare's cousin, which I am looking forward to."

Mother pursed her lips. "Your father will not like that."

"I disagree." I didn't go further and reference my real father since I knew it would not go well. "And what are your plans for the day, Mother?"

She shook her head. "Why are you so eager to leave, Mary?" she asked, her tone becoming plaintive. "Have I not always sheltered you? Protected you? Why would you want to leave?"

"As I told James last night, every girl hopes to marry when she grows up." I paused, thinking of some of Evangeline's suffrage friends. "Well, some girls wish to marry. Others wish to be independent. I suppose I'm a bit of both."

"But we have been happy!"

"Mother. You may have been happy, but I can honestly say I have not been." It was true. Even before I had met Hosmer I had been...content with life but not exactly happy. I hadn't been truly happy since my father passed away. "I miss Father."

"You are young. You don't know what you're talking about." Mother pushed away from the table. "After all James has done for us, you dismiss him without a thought? Without any consideration?"

"And what has James done for us, Mother?" I asked sharply. "He sold Father's business for half what it was worth. He has tried to run my life as though I hadn't a thought in my own head. He has tried to keep me from having friends, except when it suits his purposes."

"He knows what is best for you, my dear." Mother came around the table and put her hand on my arm. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"Getting hurt is a part of growing as an individual, Mother," I said evenly. "Getting hurt cannot be avoided. Some of the people closest to us can hurt us the most, sometimes with the best of intentions."

Mother's hand dropped and her expression hardened. "You really are an impossible girl."

"I'm sorry to have been such a trail to you. In fact, I'm surprised you are not more willing for me to marry and then I would not be tiresome for you anymore."

With a sniff, Mother turned away. "Do as you please. Nothing I say matters to you."

I was tired of her attempts to make me feel guilty. "Well, it is clear we are never going to agree, so we should put this subject aside." I picked up my teacup and drained the last of my tea. As I set it back down, I rose from my chair. "I hope you enjoy your day, Mother. I must be off."