seaycee oneshots :)))

the one where i almost lost her

ps: oh bro this is probably gonna be awful i am SO sorry

"Dude, you have to tell her you love her," Julian cried. "Go!" 

He gave me a shove, and I stumbled towards her as she made her way through the security turnstiles. I lurched forward, close enough to grab her hand, but the metal clang ricocheted through my ears as she passed through to the other side, mocking me in a sense, that I was, yet again, too late for Kaycee Rice.

She turned around, flashing us that award-winning smile, the one that had captivated America's hearts, mine along with it, tilting her head in confusion. "Miss me already?"

Her face was slightly obscured by people passing us by, but in that moment, I was sure she'd never looked more beautiful.

That too, my brain agreed, But what I need to say is that I love you.

"Huh," she grinned in the silence. "You think you'd be sad to see me go."

"Just uh," my brain fumbled as I tried to draw on something, anything-"Did you remember everything?"

"I'm 22, Sean," she grinned, sweeping her hair over her shoulder. "I think I can manage my suitcase."

"Good then," I flipped her a cheesy thumbs-up. "Good luck."

Behind her eyes there flickered something, almost a flash of disappointment, but she bit her lip and said nothing, turning away. "Bye, Kayc," I said aloud, to no one but myself, my shoulders collapsing as I watched her disappear in the frenzy of people. "Safe travels."

"I can't believe you didn't tell her," Julian sighed, punching me in the arm. "Dude."

"She doesn't feel the same," I shook my head. "Come on, let's just go home."

The drive home was silent, except Julian gently tapping his knee up and down in tune to the beat of the song on the coffee shop-genre music he preferred. "Big hip-hopper guy listening to some Starbucks stuff," I noted dryly, cracking a smile. "Impressive."

"You'd be surprised how much meaning can be found in this stuff," he pointed to the radio and raised his eyebrows. "You're the one that found beauty in silence. In more than one way, may I add."

"Touche," I laughed, leaning back and looking out the window. I heard the faint,  short strums of the guitar float through the car, and everything inside of me tightened.

You walked into the room,

and now, my heart's been stolen

"See?" Julian drummed his fingers on the dash, singing along. "Can't tell me I'm wrong now."

"What was I supposed to do?" I exploded, making him jump. "Dude, relax, I almost killed us," he said, in only a half-joking manner. "Jesus."

"Make her stay? Get in the way of her dreams? I can't do that, not when she's gonna be back soon anyway," I sighed, shaking my head. "Anyone else, maybe. But not Kaycee. I can't do that to her."

"Sean," Julian inhaled sharply, readjusting his tight grip on the wheel. "Kaycee's not coming back."

My heart sank. "W-what do you mean? She-she's only going...for some camps, Jules," my voice broke instantly, even as hard as I tried to fight it. "Jules, what do you mean?"

"She got an offer from Julliard to go teach there," he said sadly. "She begged us all not to tell you, because you knowing would make leaving that much harder."

"No," I shook my head, unable to believe that the girl I'd spent the last 13 years of my life knowing, experiencing, loving, was just...gone. And I found it so hard to believe that there was something so splitting going on behind those angel eyes. How long would it have taken me? How long would she have kept it?