Xander King's been having a hard time since he found his older brother attempting suicide. He needs some light in his life and Ryder Dechart seems to be just that. He's a cute theatre kid with plenty of sass and a few secrets under his belt.
Hopeful...
Look at Me Prologue "New Kid on the Block" • Ryder
I used to loath looking into the mirror every morning. No matter how much I wished, no matter how many things I tried, my face never looked quite right. At first, I thought it was my hair. I thought maybe if I chopped it all off, then I'd finally look like me. So one night when I was twelve, I handed my older brother, Ethan, a pair of scissors and told him to cut my hair until it looked like his. Looked like a boy's.
After it was done, I'd cried for hours. I looked even worse, and I realized that my hair had been the only thing I'd liked about my appearance. So I spent the next five years growing it back. Now it hangs halfway down my chest.
When I was fifteen, I realized exactly why I hated my appearance, why I feared mirrors even to this day.
I'm transgender. Female to male, to be precise.
That was two years ago. Now, I'm out and currently on testosterone shots. It's not fun sticking a needle in your thigh every week, but it's worth it, because now, I look in the mirror and mostly feel right. I finally look like me.
"Ryder!" I hear my mom shout from downstairs. "Get moving, it's time for school!"
I groan and tear my eyes away so I can grab my backpack. "Coming!"
Today is my first day at school. Well, my first day at my new school. We moved a few weeks ago, cross states. I'm used to moving since we do it a lot because of my mom's job. I've never spent more than one year at a school. That makes it really hard to keep friends. Every time I make some, I end up losing them, so I don't even bother trying anymore.
The only upside to moving is that here, nobody knows I'm trans except the teachers and staff. I get to start a new life as Ryder, the new boy from Colorado. It's exciting.
I head downstairs and grab two pieces of toast and throw them in the toaster. I hear a scoff to my left and my little sister, Kaisley, grabs a muffin.
"Morning," I greet her.
"One hour." She snaps. "You give me one hour after I wake up before you speak to me."
I chuckle as she storms off. She's just turned fourteen, so she has plenty of attitude to go around. I remember being the same way when I was her age, so I cut her some slack. It's not easy growing up.
My toast pops and I butter it up before giving my mom a kiss and heading out the door.
"Morning, sleepyhead." My older brother, Ethan, calls from inside his car. He usually drives us to school since mom is so busy and he doesn't have classes since he crashed his motorcycle a few days ago. His college is letting him do his work online at home while he heals.
I hop in the passenger's seat while Kaisley gets in the back and Ethan drives off, his classic rock music blaring.
After dropping Kaisley off at the middle school building, Ethan takes me to the high school one. He flicks my ear when he parks. "Oi, good luck in there."
"Thanks," I smile.
"Don't let those punks step all over you like usual." He warns me. "You gotta stand up for yourself, especially now." He gives me a knowing look and shoves me out of the car. "See you at three."
I nod and he drives off, pulling out a cigarette once he thinks I can't see him anymore. I sigh and head inside, keeping my head down.
I'm supposed to be shown around by someone, but I'm not sure who. I check my schedule and see that my first period is history. I stare blankly down the hallways and follow the mass of students to a group of four hallways, each labeled for a grade. I head down the twelfth grade hallway and study the room labels.
I get just past the lockers when someone shoves past me hard enough to knock me to the ground. I groan and look up, seeing some auburn haired guy in a varsity jacket with his arm around a raven haired girl glance down at me.
"Didn't see you there." He mumbles emptily and stalks off, not even bothering to help me up. I stand, check my pockets, and walk on, ignoring the interaction.
Guess the people here have never heard of manners.
I find the history room and head inside, everyone in the class eying me. I go up to the teacher and introduce myself. He smiles and shows me to my seat, throwing out apologies that I had to come in the middle of the year. He hands me a textbook and goes back to his desk.
I can feel the eyes of all the other students on me and force myself to look down, hiding my face with my hair.
My first day doesn't seem to be going well, but I keep my hopes up. Maybe after class, I'll find whoever was supposed to show me around and I can make one friend.
The teacher shuts the door and I release my worries so I can focus on the lesson.
_______________________________ Author's Note:
Before anyone says anything, Ryder is written by Jex and I, Jex, am transgender (ftm). This book isn't going to be about being trans, it simply exists with a trans character. Ryder's experiences will mirror mine. Every trans person has a different experience so this does not at all represent all trans people.
I really hope you're all excited for this because we certainly are! We've been wanting a Xyder story for so long and we know you did too! So here it is!
Also, this book is in direct connection with our other novel, Bi-Curious, which is about Xander's and Ryder's order brothers, Charlie and Ethan. If you haven't read it yet I suggest you check it out as some scenes will intertwine.
Btw the chapter are lines with the boys star signs respectively if anyone was curious. ♓︎ - Pieces - Ryder - March 6th ♎︎ - Libra - Xander - October 8th
