Look away (BxB) [COMPLETE]

Nine: Guilt

Brannon Begum walked away after he'd seen Louis. He didn't have the strength to talk to him. He couldn't just say sorry cause Louis wouldn't believe him. He couldn't even talk to him cause Louis was obviously scared of him now. Instead, he went to his next class. The guilt was still haunting him and he couldn't concentrate on anything. He nearly killed someone and that was all he could think of. Of course Louis was scared of him now. It only made sense for a person to be scared of the guy who first slapped him, then ripped up his skin and nearly made him bleed out and then pull him into a bathroom stall only to slap him again and press him against a wall. Bran pressed his face against his hands and groaned.

"I'm such an idiot..." He moaned. The classroom when quiet and Bran looked up. He'd totally forgotten that he was in class.

"Dude it's just a simple equation..." Kyle said. The class giggled and Bran looked over at Kyle. He didn't seem to remember the incident with Evelina at the party. He hadn't even mentioned the fact that Bran left. Both Evelina and Kyle were acting as if nothing happened. They weren't avoiding each other. They just acted normal. No weird looks or uncomfortable conversation.

Louis wouldn't have gotten hurt if Bran wouldn't have dragged him with him. But if Evelina hadn't run off then Bran wouldn't have involved Louis in the first place. But Evelina just ran off because Kyle had been a jerk. Kyle was a jerk cause he drank too much. He only drank too much cause no one stopped him. Bran could've stopped him from drinking too much but so could the guys who were handing out the alcohol. Anyone at the party could've stopped him. If they hadn't won the game then there wouldn't have been a party in the first place. But Bran had been the one to score the final points. It was all Bran's fault. Everything he'd done up to the point when he hit Louis was his fault. He'd gotten himself into that position. But. If that thing hadn't happened back in their freshmen year then he wouldn't be so badly treated by everyone and maybe then he wouldn't have pulled that wire into his arm. Maybe if Bran had noticed it sooner then... no. He was overthinking it. What happened, happened and now he had to fix it.

Louis sat by the window. It didn't matter what the teacher said, all Louis could think of was the hot bruise on his cheek. Every time he moved his arm he could feel the stitches. It was different from his usual stitches in many ways. These stitches were bandaged and protected. They were carefully placed there by someone other than himself and they were tied in little knots. There was no beauty in it. It just looked like a messy butchers job. Were they taking inspiration from Dr. Frankenstein's monster when they sowed his wounds up? He looked like a rag doll with all the ugly stitches. Bran had been the one who paid for his treatment. Probably because he felt guilty and not cause he cared, right? Louis probably owed him an apology for causing him so much trouble. But it still pained Louis how Bran had raised his hand against him. If Bran was just going to hit him every time he spoke then what was the point of speaking to him? Louis looked down at his notebook and picked up his pen. "He's out of your league" he scribbled down. Louis felt the annoying tinnitus tone ringing in his head. The high pitch tone caused Louis to think of explorations. Explosives were controlled gatherings of chaos. Kind of like mental asylums and computer viruses. They're there even when you don't think of them and with one small action you can set the entire thing off and it can mess up a lot of things for a lot of people. When Louis was fourteen his dad had blown up the car when Louis was standing beside it. He hadn't gotten hurt at all but he'd never forget the tinnitus that followed the exploration. His father died that day. Louis remembered the scent of the burning hair and the blood splatter. Two weeks after the incident his mom had slit her wrists in the bathtub. Tinnitus would always remind him of his parents. That year was the worst year of his life. First Oscar betrayed him and then he lost his parents.

Louis looked down at his trembling hands and let himself drift further into his thoughts. He couldn't remember what class he had anymore. He couldn't even remember where he was. Those facts didn't cross his mind when he sunk into his thoughts. It wasn't like Louis to drift off in class but the stress and anxiety from his encounters with Bran made his mind foggy. The stitches in Louis arm felt tight. They reminded Louis of safety pins, desperately holding his flesh together. He let his fingers sink into his bruised cheek. His cheekbone was aching under the skin. Bran really hit hard. Louis was surprised that he hadn't broken anything yet. But what else could he expect from a future pro football player? Of course, he'd be rough when he got emotional. With muscles like that, it would be hard not to put too much force into his movements, especially when he lost his temper. Louis was used to taking hits to the face but somehow the bruise Bran left felt way worse than any other. Shouldn't his obsession with Bran tone down now? He hit his face multiple times, pushed him to the ground and ripped his stitches which nearly killed him. Shouldn't he at least dislike him? Even if Bran had hit he still wanted to be close to him. He'd be happy if he as much as got to feel his scent. Louis thought of Bran's grip around his wrist when they chased after that girl at the party. Bran had defended him for no reason, even after he found out about that embarrassing story from the past.