"you're in the deep end with the rest of us"
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"is that such a bad thing?"
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"it is at kings, anybody could stab you in the back"
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Marcus Lopez Arguello changes everything at Kings Dominion, leaving destruction in his wake. But will he change Kai...
•WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR• 'One day he's going to be mysteriously killed and I hope it's me or you that pulls the fucking trigger'
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I let Lolita's and Petra's book slam to the floor, my head spinning as tears threatened to fall. I can't breathe, my ribs were acting as a cage, suffocating me.
Why can't I breathe?
My head swarmed with images, flashes and images of everything I didn't want to relive, things that could terrify a grown man. Every bone in my body ached as I forced myself to move down the hall, discarding the books on the floor as I stumbled towards the bathroom. Hoping that it seemed like I was okay to everyone else but in reality, I felt sick to my core; sick of pretending I was fine. Every day of my shitty life I keep telling myself that this the last day I'm going to pretend, that tomorrow's going to get better. But it never does and all I am doing is suffering in silence, letting the pain consume me bit by bit until my last shred of hope is gone. It's not like I had any, to begin with. Hope is bullshit that we all just continue to repeat and recite to get through the reality of our world. To step outside from our life for a mere second to only have the world crashing back down on you. Why should I pretend that it's going to get better? I threw open the bathroom door and ran into a stall, throwing up every last bit from my meal, hugging the cool sides trying to contain my retching.
This is real! I'm not back there.
I clutched the toilet bowl reminding myself that they are just nightmares, asleep and awake. It had been almost two months since my last attack, two months since I properly thought about him.
Even when you're not here you fuck with my head...
"Kaiya?" Maria's voice sounded from behind me as she placed her hand on my shoulder, rubbing her thumb lightly over the material of my blazer. I turned my head slightly, noticing her tear-stained face, bloodshot eyes and makeup running down her cheeks. She looked as I felt.
"I'm fine" I lent back from the toilet, not moving too far away. I pressed my back against the stall wall, my legs flat out in front of me as I glanced up at Maria, giving her a small smile which ended up being more of a grimace. "Just a bad day" I let out a breathy laugh, rubbing my mouth with my sleeve. There's no point faking or lying to Maria, she'll see right through me. She always has, ever since I met her. "I've been having one of those myself" Maria sighed, kneeling to my level. "You wanna talk about each other's problems and have a massive cry" Maria laughed through a single tear. I nodded letting a few out myself while laughing. "She weeps! The famous Kaiya has feelings! This needs to go down in history" Maria flops down next to me, closing the stall door. I laugh, a few more leaving my eyes as I leaned my head on her shoulder. "Feelings? What are those?" I chuckle as she lent her head on top of mine.
