Suicidal

Chapter 7

*Read this chapter with like really sad music, will make the story like 10 times better!*

Nashs POV

I cant believe what she just said. She wants to kill herself and its my fault..

I just cant comprehend all of this. Its just all of a blur.

I only bullied her because i was afraid of losing something else i love.. The day that she went to the hospital and how i lost my best friend because of vine.. my brother not living with us anymore, just opened my eyes saying that everything that i love gets hurt or goes away.. I loved my grandma and the fact that she died on the same day Allie went to the hospital was just too much.. I cant love Allie but now because of me she is going kill her self and now i will lose her forever.. I cant just let her go...

"Allie don't do this" I said chasing after her.. she ignored me and kept running away from me..

"ALLIE PLEASE STOP" I yelled and ran faster.. god damn shes fast

She got in her car and sped away leaving me in the parking lot..

My vision started to get blurry and i felt warm wet tears running down my face.. I cant let her do this!

I ran to my car and sped away towards Allies House.. I burst through the door and ran all the way to her room.. she wasn't there.. where would she be?

Allies POV

Once i got to my house i went to go get my dads old gun that he threatened to shoot my mom, me and my brother with.. I also took a couple pieces of paper and a pen .. Then i ran to the grove right behind my house, all the way to my secret place that i always went to when i felt lonely or upset, Nash showed me this place when we were younger, he doesn't go here anymore but that's ok because i don't want him here. Once i went to my happy place, i went to the little stream over to the left with a little bridge that me and Nash built, I sat on the little bench and started to write my note with tears starting to from in my eyes..

Dear whoever reads this,

As your reading this i am probably gone.. Life for me sucked, I've gotten bullied to the point where i think i deserve to be bullied.. I just a fat,ugly, worthless piece of shit that doesn't belong in this world. I hope that once i pass on i will be happier.. I'm not doing this just because I'm trying to get attention .. I'm killing myself because I don't deserve any of this.. I wish I was pretty.. I wish I was popular.. But most importantly I wish I was anyone but me .. Please don't be upset or sad that i am gone. Just know that i will be happy and I am finally doing something for me. All my life all i did was take care of other people.. Now its my turn..

-Allie

I wrote another note..

Nash,

I really liked you when we were younger, I cant decipher my feelings for you now because for all what you have done to me. We were best friends until at least 8th grade then you left me because you wanted to be popular. You left me when i needed you the most, Thank you for for doing that because without you i would've never been dead and hap-

Then i heard a voice that i would never want to ever again.. Nash

"Allie please don't do this" he said

"why should i? theres nothing good here for me and you want me to die anyways right?"

"Allie I nev-"

"yes you freaking did, don't lie..." I interrupted him

"Okay i may have said that but i was you-"

"yea yea i know young and dumb" I interrupted him again

"Allie please just dont do it" Nash said with his face looking worried

"Its too late Nash, you don't realize how horrible it is just to know that me, myself wakes up with anxiety attacks, being constantly bullied at school by your friends, then you just standing there like nothing happened, my dad being killed because of a drug overdose, my brother nearly dead, my mom being depressed and not even speaking, you just don't understand do you?"

"Allie, i never knew that your dad died because of a drug overdose.. I never knew any of this"

"Just stop! i don't care if you didn't know, i don't want you to know, yes my dad died because of a drug overdose, i don't know why i should care considering that he abused me, but i still cared about him.. I deserved being abused and he gave me what i deserved, but then one night i guess he just left me.. He was too drunk to even notice what he was putting into his body, then i guess that no one was there to help him, and he died." I said crying

"Allie I am so sorry for everything, i never meant for any of this to happen... Allie I love you but i was too afraid that you would get hurt or go away like everything i also loved, and i took it way to far, this is all my fault and i just don't want me to be the reason that you are gone. If you leave me it would be like someone turned off the lights and the whole room was dark. My life would be so miserable and dark and just worse without you in it , Please don't do this Allie, I love you and I am sorry for everything please" He said walking towards me

"Its too late" I said as i picked up the gun and aimed it towards my head.

"I love you too Nash, don't forget that, i always will" I was just about to pull the trigger until...

CLIFF HANGER! I was literally crying while making this chapter, its really dramatic haha but I just wanted to update this one bc I could not wait for yall to read it and like see your reaction .. Burry

ily guys thanks for reading this chapter :)

- Allie <3

If you guys want to go to youtube and listen to a song called

We are here - Alicia Keys

^^ this song is very inspirational and eye opening , please share this with others, even the ones who are going through a tough time in their lives. Ok fine I'm done :) Byee