Athena Project [ M*A*S*H ]

S*I*X

Nellie wandered into the women's changing room. Her feet felt numb. Her eyes felt tired. Her body ached. More than that, her heart ached. Only Margaret stood in the room with her now. Nellie could hear the doctors chatting quietly beyond the curtains.

"Nice work," said Margaret. The head nurse changed into her fatigues. She smiled at Nellie. "Really. It was impressive."

Nellie forced a smile. "Thank you."

"Go get some sleep."

Nellie watched Margaret leave. Slowly, she started going through the motions. Pull off the bloody scrubs, pull on the clean fatigues. They'd been in surgery for thirteen hours. Now it was one in the afternoon. Even the orange juice that Klinger had made for them hadn't quenched her exhaustion.

She left the hospital alone. The sunlight blinded her. As she went towards her tent, she saw the other surgeons dragging their way into the Swamp. Hawkeye hadn't even gotten rid of his white pants. Her feet dragged as she approached her own tent. So much for poker.

The door shut noisily behind her. Nellie stood there unmoving. She stared at the floor in her tent. After half a minute, she sat on her bed and went to take her boots off. The soles were bloodied. She'd said blood didn't phase her. And yet the sight of the blood of the soldiers caked into the grooves of her boot made her sick.

The bottle of scotch on her desk looked attractive. Nellie poured herself a shot glass full and downed half in one gulp. The bed felt softer than she remembered it being. For half an hour, Nellie just sat staring at the diploma across from her bed. She thanked God that Molly had declined the job offer. She herself had barely made it through without crying; Nellie couldn't imagine Molly doing that given her brother's untimely death. Nellie hadn't even known Paul and the thought of him and the wounded made her sick.

She took another sip. Fatigue threatened to overtake her. Finally she placed the empty glass into her side table. She used a small key to unlock the wooden box and took out her rosary. She started the prayers as she lay down to sleep.

When she woke up, it was to a knock at her door. She didn't bother to put her fatigue button down on or her boots, instead she just pushed open the door. Her hair looked messy, half in a ponytail she hadn't undone after surgery. To her surprise, it was BJ.

"It's the end of dinner," he told her. "Thought you might want to get up before all the food is gone."

She nodded. Shifting in the doorway, she glanced up at the sky. Dark clouds were starting to accumulate over the quickly fading sky. "Thanks. I should probably eat." Then she looked back at him.

"What?"

"To be honest I thought you and Hawkeye were joined at the hip." She cracked a smile and went back inside to put on her boots.

BJ laughed and stood in the doorway. He shook his head. "He's in Post Op."

"Ah."

"You did better than I did."

"Pardon?"

He stood aside as she exited her tent. With a gesture to the Hospital, he tried to explain. "Your first time seeing wounded. I couldn't hold down my lunch."

"They're younger than I expected," she admitted.

Nellie walked with BJ over to the Mess Tent. He didn't respond to her statement. Inside the tent, a few nurses and orderlies still sat eating. She spotted Klinger getting himself food. BJ went to grab a table while she got in line.

"Hey Major! Good work this morning," he said with a grin. "I think even Major Houlihan was impressed."

She smiled back. "Thanks, Corporal."