Experimenting -Ryden-

Chapter 1

"You're on in 20" Pete, our manager, shouted into the dressing room. I sighed ruffling my hair and doing a last vocal warm up before grabbing the microphone that was handed to me by a stage attendant which I didn't care for learning his name. I walked on the stage and ignore the thousands of fans screaming my name as I looked over at Pete who held up a sign that read 'Denver' I nodded and sighed as everyone got into their positions. Ryan to my right, Brent to my left and Spencer behind me on drums

"GOOD EVENING, Denver!" I shouted with faux enthusiasm as the fans screeched. Spencer started playing the beginning of Time to dance and I sighed and started singing.

15 songs later Brent says goodnight to the crowd as I walk straight of stage, pushing the microphone into Pete's chest and walking into the dressing room. I showered and got changed and walked out of the venue to see Pete and Ryan discussing something, Ryan is still in his stage clothes with his brown hair sticking to his forehead. As soon as he sees me he walks straight past me, nudging me on the way out making me stumble with force. I sighed and stood next to Pete and he handed me a cigarette and lit it. I placed it between my lips and took a drag.

"You 'right?" Pete asked and I shrugged. Ever since I came out gay to my band members and Pete and Zack they have all- except for Pete and Zack- have been avoiding me. Spencer is the only one who has stuck by my side this entire time and he still treats me differently, like, it's not a disease.

"I don't know" I sighed.

"It's only 20 more shows" Pete said and I groaned.

"Only?" I asked and he laughed stomping on the cigarette with his foot. I pinched the end of my unfinished cigarette and shoved it in my pocket before heading over to the bus wordlessly.

I entered the code and hopped onto the empty bus and walking straight over to the kitchen area. I pulled out some OJ and vodka and mixed them together. I sat on the couch an flicked on the TV and swigged the mix and cringed as it slid harshly down my throat.

"Brendon?" Pete asked walking onto the bus. I looked at him as my three other band members came onto the bus. Brent had some chick attached to his hip and Spencer had a joint dangling from his lips which he would pass to Ryan every-so-often.

"Yeah?" I asked and Pete sighed closing the bus door. He motioned for everyone to leave us alone and they all groaned and walked to the bunks.

"The fans are realizing that there is something going on between you lot" I sighed and ran a hand through my shower damp hair. "Especially you and Ryan" I groaned at the mention I his name.

"It's not my fault they hate me" I said and Pete sighed and walked over to the door.

"They don't hate you" I scoffed.

"Really?" I asked and cleared my throat. "BRENT?" I hear a low groan.

"What does he want?" We ears him mutter and he opened the door. "Yes?" He spat.

"Nothing" I grinned and he scoffed and closed the door. I looked at Pete and he sighed.

"Yeah but Brent hates everyone" he said and I shrugged. He sighed and opened the door where Ryan, Brent, Spencer and some girl is.

"Brendon?" Ryan asked walking up to me. My heart sped up as he got closer and closer.

"Y-Yeah?" I mentally slapped myself and his golden eyes burned into my skin.

"Can you come to the bar with me?" He asked and I smiled. Pete gave me a thumbs up as if to tell me he told be so. I stood up and followed Ryan outside. We walked to the bar and when we walked in we heard a group of girls scream. We rolled our eyes and plastered faker ins on our faces.

"Can we have your autograph?!" On of them screeched and I tried not to roll my eyes. I nodded and grabbed a marker and signed their CDs which the conveniently had on them as did Ryan and we sat at the barstools. Ryan sighed and I spun on the barstool making him giggle.

"I've missed you..." he said out of the blue making me stop abruptly and look at him.

"I've been here the whole time" I said and he sighed as the barman handed us two beers.

"I know... but ever since.... you know... You've become distant and quiet." He said and I popped open the beer and sighed.

"It's you guys' fault... you've shunned me out... I knew Brent would but you? You're supposed to be my best friend" I said and took a swig of beer.

"I know...I'm sorry" He said and I scoffed. I've known him long enough to realize that when he says he's sorry doesn't mean it and when he does he'll shoot it at you like a bullet. He sighed and stood up and I grabbed his wrist stopping him from going anywhere.

"Stay" I whispered and he rolled his eyes and slumped down in the barstool next to me unamused. I grabbed his hand and spun him around on the barstool making us both giggle. He stopped when he saw a girl smirking at him. I thought of an idea to stop him from flirting with her.

"Hi, I'm Keltie-" I cut her off as soon as Ryan was getting interested.

"Ryan! Come dance with me!" I grinned taking his wrist and pulling him off of the barstool. He stumbled but caught himself and I dragged him to the dance floor. A familiar song erupted in the bar. One of our songs. Ryan groaned and went to walk away but I grabbed his wrist-yet again- and pulled him further onto the dance floor. He finally got used to the idea of dancing to one of our songs and then we started grinding our hips and laughing when we touched each other.

"Brendon' Ryan slurred as he grabbed my hips to keep himself up. "I wanna go home" he whispered and I shuddered.

"We any go home we have to go to the tour bus" I said and he nibbled on my ear making me groan. "We have to go back to the tour bus" I said and he grabbed my hand and dragged me out if the bar and to the tour bus where Pete was smoking outside.

Ryan dragged me into the bus wordlessly and straight to the bunks. He kissed my roughly and I pushed him off his big honey coloured eyes filled with curiosity and lust.

"You don't want this" I mutter and he raises an eyebrow.

"I do" he whispered huskily into my ear and I pushed him off just as his lips latched onto my neck.

"You don't, you're drunk" I said and he rolled his eyes and kicked off his shoes.

"A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts" He whispered and I pulled off his shirt and pulled off his jeans and pushed him onto the bed. I pulled the covers over him.

"If that's true you'll tell me tomorrow" I whispered before kissing his forehead and walking over to my bunk and putting pyjama pants on and pulling off my shirt. I walked into the lounge area where everyone else was. They eyed me suspiciously and I sat down next to Spencer just as Pete walked in.

"Where's Ryan?" He asked and I nodded over to the bunks and Pete mouthed an 'oh' before sitting in the arm chair next to Brent.

A few hours later I decided to go to bed. I walked to the bunks and looked over at the sleeping boy and his shirtless body. I smiled slightly and climbed onto the bunk above him. I heard Ryan mutter something and I flung the top half of my body over the top bunk and looked at him. His eyes stared into mine and he smiled at me.

"Brendon?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah?" I asked and he but his bottom lip.

"I had a nightmare" He said and I remembered back in high school when he would get them and he would sit and cry to me through the phone. "Come stay with me?" He asked moving over in his small bunk and I nodded and jumped from the bunk to the floor. I clambered into the bunk beside him and he turned to face me.

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked and he shook his head and held my hand under the covers. He would always hold my hand under the covers to make sure I didn't slip away. His eyes fluttered closed and I stared at him for a few moments. His chestnut hair falling into his closed eyes with his lips slightly parted as his breathing comes to a steady pace. I smiled to myself as I closed my eyes and squeezed his hand. Thank you for being my best friend...