The Ruins of Love and Chaos (AvaLance)

CHAPTER XVII

Ever since the New Year's cruise, there had been a shift of aura between Sara and Ava. There were no confessions that happened after their mini vacation, no hand holding and no kissing but they started to slip back into the way things were when they were still married. They have gotten closer over the past two months but this change was different, more intimate than the previous shifts in their 'relationship' and it's something that still shook Sara to her core.

She didn't have to be a detective to notice the changes in the behavior of her ex-wife but Sara was in fact, a detective, and she witnessed every little detail like how Ava glowed especially in the mornings. She was more relaxed and joyful. Habitually, Ava was always the first one to wake, even before they were divorced, but now, her tedious mornings (which usually are composed of coffee and Ava engrossed in a newspaper or her emails) evolved into a light, motivational, morning that involved relaxing music as she sipped coffee. She would cook breakfast for the three of them and would play with their daughter before diving into work.

Ava's work was a little different now too. They were more spaced out than before and Sara noticed that too. Ava would clear out her schedules for movie nights or a lunch out with them leaving Sara confused because it should have been impossible. She knew what being a lawyer meant especially one that runs a firm Things became clearer that one time she caught her in the wee hours of the night doing the paperwork she was supposed to do that morning and Sara felt bad. The following night, she brought Ava coffee and kept her company as she researched cases. This turned to be a routine and most nights she would help file and arrange Ava's paperwork to ease her workload.

It wasn't only the routine changes that Sara noticed, there were also times where she would catch Ava blushing whenever she looked at her (not that she hasn't before but this time it was more often than not) or how she wears her hair down, intentionally, in more managed curls unlike the times she would only untangle her bun, and how her closet, which was previously filled with suits and pants suddenly dressed her in turtlenecks and sleeveless cottons that hugged her body and showed her toned arms.

Most nights Sara would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking of the three words she never thought she would say to Ava again. I love you. The words still ring in her head whenever she looks back to her drunken confession a week ago. The doubts never leave but she knows she is a risk taker. Sara has been one to face all problems headstrong. She and Ava have been through things that are much more complicated than their 'hidden-not-so-hidden' feelings for each other.

The one thing she loves about being with Ava was the comfort she brought. She was her peace, her safe haven. The one thing she used to love about being with her is now the very thing that terrifies her because she knows that it's the comfort that keeps pulling her back. It's the comfort that makes her feel that they're both inevitable to each other.

***

Fights were inevitable in their relationship. Sara was impulsive, hard headed and reckless, while Ava was responsible, put together and always play by the books. There was no denying that the both of them would clash seeing they were the farthest thing from being alike. There were fights that lasted days and fights that were over before they even begun but there were never fights that made them say they've had enough... until now.

"What the hell was that?!" Ava slammed the car door the moment Sara got out of the car, loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear.

The night was too dark even for 1 in the morning but the street was illuminated by the posts. It was a miracle that there was no single soul outside to witness another fight go down. It was stupid how fast a simple misunderstanding could fully blow up in their faces.