Angelic Mask-(s.m)

41

Mild Trigger Warning:
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Here I was sat at my desk stapling a bunch of files together, while looking out of the window which shadowed the busy city of New York.

It's been three months.

Three hard freaking months and everyday is just getting worse.

I can't keep doing this anymore, I keep telling myself that I'm over Shawn and he doesn't matter to me anymore. And that I'm over him but the truth is I miss him every day, he gave me some of the best days of my life.

And I don't know how much longer I can pretend I'm fine, when in reality I'm not.

"Athena?" I hear my name be called which made me snap my head toward Lisa.

"Oh hey" I gave her a smile before looking back down at my work.

"Why do you look sad?" She asks and I shrugged.

"There's nothing to be sad about" she cheered.

"But there's also nothing to be happy about" I say and she sighed.

"Girl what's been upsetting you? Is it some boy?" She says and I sighed not saying anything.

"Maybe if you tell me your feelings you'll feel better" she says.

"I just wish things would go back to the way they used be. I was living a happier life almost months ago and now I feel like I've lost everything" I say sadly.

"Things will get better" she says and I shrugged.

"I don't know if they will"

"Just be patient, good comes to those who wait" she says and I sighed.

If only she knew I've been patiently waiting for almost 13 years of my life to be happy.

"Yeah I guess"

"Anyway the interns are having a small pizza party get-together if you wanted to go tonight" she says and I thought about it for a few seconds.

"Just come out it will be fun I promise you" she says and I nodded.

"I'll pick you up at 7pm" she says and I thanked her obefore she left so I could carry on with my work.
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I finished my shift and walked back to my apartment in the cold as it was October and the weather was cooling a bit. I unlocked the door and went into my apartment which was dark and cold.

I had to turn the lights on and put the heating on before I went to change my clothes for this evening. I headed to the kitchen to get a snack as I went to open the fridge there was a magnet stuck. Which had a picture of me and Cookie.

Oh how much I missed Cookie.

I had to give him to a shelter as my mental health was getting worse and I just couldn't look after him. I loved him but I couldn't keep him locked in my apartment all day. He needed someone to take proper care of him and give him what he deserved so that was the decision I made a month after moving here.

It was hard but I had to let him go.

Dr. Em referred me to another therapist called Luke, he was nice but I've been so many times to him and I just couldn't speak to him. I would just sit in his office and cry, then leave.

I sighed before I pulled out some left over food out from the fridge warming it up. I sat on the stool just mushing my food around my plate, I was so hungry yet I couldn't put the spoon of food into my mouth.

I was so tired yet my body wouldn't let me sleep.

I don't know what is wrong and if I ever will be fixed again.