Angelic Mask-(s.m)

42

S H A W N-

Athena's been in the hospital for almost four days now and I haven't left her side once. I stayed and brought her food and comforted her but she didn't really speak to me at all. She barely would even look at me but I accepted it, soon it will all be okay.

I sat beside her as she just slipped on some water just staring at the tv screen which had some show playing. I really wanted to just hold her and kiss her and tell her everything was going to be okay but I couldn't. She clearly need space from me but she didn't mind my presence in the room.

Then the door opened revealing the Doctor who came in with a clipboard. "Alright Athena, I can officially discharge you now" the doctor says happily and it felt like a heavy weight had come off my chest.

"I just need to get some forms filled out and your boyfriend to sign them too before we can send you home" he says and I nodded.

"But you can get dressed into your clothes and get your stuff together, then make your way to the reception" the doctor says and I nodded. He left the room and she let out a sigh before slowly getting off the bed.

I quickly made my way around and gave her hand which she took as she got off the bed slowly. "Where is your stuff?" I asked and she pointed in the corner where her clothes were folded and a bag was.

I grabbed her clothes and handed it to her before I awkwardly went back. I didn't want to look but she was struggling. "Shall I help you?" I asked her.

"I'm fine" she mumbled stubbornly and I wanted to laugh because she wasn't fine but I couldn't laugh. I walked over and shook my head before taking her pants. She huffed before sliding her legs in and I pulled them up. Then I untied her hospital gown from the back and then help put her sweater on. I grabbed her shoes and help put them on for her.

"Thanks" she mumbled quietly as she fixed her ponytail.

I held her bag full of her things as I let her link her arm with mine. She was tense but finally gave in and leaned her weight against me. I went to the desk and we signed all the documents that we needed before we were allowed to go.

I helped her to my car and I got her in carefully as I buckled her in. I got into the drivers side and I took a deep breath before looking at Athena who was just sat staring out the window.

"Um- so do you want me to take you back to your apartment?" I asked her and she nodded giving me her address.

The car ride was quiet normally she would sing or just ramble about things but I hated this between us. I was going to clear everything as soon as we got to her apartment.
-

I helped her up to her apartment and she unlocked the door taking her things before she opened the door, but then she sighed and turned around. "Do you want to come in?" She asks while looking down avoiding any eye contact and I nodded as she let me inside.

It was a slightly bigger apartment then her last, it was extremely simple then her last one. I was expecting to be attacked by Cookie who must've grown by now, but he was nowhere to been seen or heard.

I took a seat on her plush couch and then she made her way with a glass of water before sitting down and wrapping herself in a blanket. "Athena I want to sort everything out between us, I hate this wall between us. I know you have every right to be mad at me but I want your forgiveness" I say and she looks up at me.

"I don't even know what to say. Accept I'm sorry I know I hurt and I hurt you in more ways then I could imagine. But trust me every single day I have regretted it so much, I can't tell you how much I hate myself for what I've done to you" I say as I moved closer to her on the couch.

"I'm so sorry you won't even understand the amount of guilt I have Athena. Please forgive me it won't ever happen again" I say and she sighs.

"I know but how can you say it won't happen it again? How do you know? All I remember in that moment was you immediately choosing Chloe over me, it's like you didn't even remember me. You won't understand how I felt it that moment, it was like a flash back of finding out my own mother chose me over some guy" she says and I sighed.

"I have never been anyone's first choice, and I probably never will be. You showed me that in a split second and I don't know how I can believe you" she says.

"Honestly Athena the last few months I have regretted everything that I had ever done. I left everything behind and flew all the way to New York leaving everything just to come and find you because I love you and I know how much I messed up. In the moment that everything happened I really hated myself that you wouldn't understand. But if you don't think I care about you after leaving everything behind, well you're wrong. Because I love you so fucking much Athena that it hurts" I say and she just stared at me quietly.

"It hurts. You don't know how bad I actually feel knowing that I've lost the greatest girl ever. I know I was so stupid, and I quote Rina who said 'your dumbass is stupid'." I say and a small smile of amusement crawled on to her lips.

"But the point is people make mistakes and I've learned mine and I've suffered my punishment. I just want to forget anything ever happened because I miss you so much" I say truthfully and she sighs.

"What about Chloe?"

"She's gone forever I promise. All she wanted was proper divorce so she could get re-married. I promise you that you will never see her again and I don't love her at all, it was a burst in the moment when old feelings hit me. But I promise she is nothing anymore" I explain and she looked relived.

"So what now?" She asks.

"Forgive me? Please and then we can carry in like normal, well that's if you want" I plead her and she sat quiet in deep thought for a few minutes.

"I forgive you, but please and I really mean it please don't hurt me again" she says and I looked at her because I know how much she's been hurt.

"I promise I will never again" I say as I moved closer to hug her.

For the first time in months I've hugged her or even got this closer to her. I held her small fragile body against mine and she just cried. She sobbed into my chest as I held her, my heart pained as she cried but I shushed her and caressed her back.

"Don't cry baby bear please" I shushed her as I kissed the top of her head. I lifted her head up and wiped her tears with the pads of my thumb.

She stopped quiet but stayed in my lap and I hugged her tightly against me after such a long time I felt this warm feeling and it felt good and also made me realise that I was never ever going to hurt her ever again.

"Why did you overdose yourself?" I asked her softly and she sighed.

"I never meant to. It's just the last three months have been extremely hard for me. After what happened between us I couldn't cope with everything, I literally could not cope that my mental health deteriorated so much. I had to give Cookie to a shelter because I couldn't look after him or myself. Then I just thought taking more pills will make me feel better but I accidentally had too many" she says and I frowned sadly.

"Athena I can't even tell you how bad I feel, I'm so ashamed of myself for even putting you in a position like that" I say and she shook her head.

"Can we just not talk?" She asks and I nodded as I just pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly.

Finally I had her and now I was never ever going to ever let her go. I loved her way too much and I hated myself for almost loosing all of that.

Only within ten minutes she had completely fallen asleep. Her head hanging down and her fists clenched against the material of my shirt as her mouth was slightly hung open.

This is the face that I missed and now as never going to let go.

Maybe everything was just going to be fine from now on...
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A/N: back in business! How is everyone feeling so far in the story?