What You Thought (on hold)

Permanent Goals

Dauntless P.O.V.

A rare energy possessed me today, so I decide to get up and walk outside the walls that have become my self- banished prison. After showering, I throw on black sweats and a t- shirt. 

After I scribble a note to my father, in case he notices my absence, I head out into the Pit. The heart if the beast, as I so lovingly refer to it. Everyone is bustling around, filled with life and happiness. I feel a little part of myself indulge back into the girl I was before this. A little happy, flowy feeling courses through my veins and spurs my on to the destination I hadn't realized I had decided on.

The tattoo parlor.

Despite the fact I already have a tattoo, I wonder what it's like. I was a little tipsy when I had gotten the fearless wheel. Thankfully not drunk enough to get something stupid like dauntless cake, or my crushes name, but enough to the point to which I don't remember the feeling. It had been almost a year anyway. 

As I replay all my thoughts through my head again, I find I have unconsciously decided to get another tattoo. This will be fun. 

I pace the room again and again, trying to find a design that I like. But none seem to be what I want.

Dauntless flames...

too over used.

Names...

never

Dauntless cake...

hell no. Didn't I already say that?

One drawing catches my eye, three birds. Ravens, I'm told once the lady see's my eye's linger on them a little longer than the other ones. I like them. But something tells me, those aren't mine.

Like if I get them, I would be stealing someone else's thunder. I need something of my own. Something not on these walls that just anyone can get. It need to be mine. 

As I continue to think, and even consider walking out, I decide to get a quote. I don't know where I heard this, but I love it. I decide to get it on the inside of my forearm with a pair of wings as the background. All black and white. This is how I wanna live my life. I will now have the person I strive to be inked on my skin, and I think that pretty good. When I'm finished ,get the cream that will keep it from getting infected, and wrap it, I leave the shop and am instantly swallowed up by the rush of people heading toward the cafeteria for lunch. I haven't eaten anything today, so I decide it would be beneficial to eat something. I get a slice of pizza and a bag of chips. And a water bottle. I sit at my usual table and find Uncle George and Uncle Amar already sitting there. When they see my arm, they freak out.

"Dauntless! What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Uncle George interrogates. Uncle Amar just looks at his husband and says, "George, it's a tattoo." That, gets us a, "What? Why the fuck do you have a tattoo young lady?" Amar just smiles and gestures for me to give him my arm. Willingly I comply, Uncle Amar reads it out loud, "She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible, she walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings." They smile at that. But them George gives my a look, "Does your father know about this." 

"No."

"God have mercy on your soul. You know what, it's your own fault. We don't know about this. Okay?"

I nod. As they say good bye, Uncle Amar and I have a creepy soul connection thing. I swear he knows exactly what he thinks about my mother, and he silently tells me, he agrees. I also get the feeling we will have to talk later. Then they leave and the feeling is gone. Now I think.

Of escape plans. I like the tattoo, but...

My dad is going to kill me when he finds out.

If he finds out. 

Yeah if, if is good.