11 Things Not To Say To An Autistic Person

4 'But you're not thát autistic'

I often had to listen to teachers saying things to me like: 'Your autism barely affects you,' or 'You are very high functioning so we don't need to give you any support.'

Let me make one thing clear: I am only considered high functioning because apparantly my autism doesn't affect the people around me and the rest of the world. But that doesn't mean that my autism doesn't affect me.

I am so good at hiding my autism that people don't know I have it till I tell them. But that's just a coping mechanism to hide who I really am. People don't see me struggling so they think I am doing fine. Just like what my high school teachers always told me. 

My biggest struggle is sensory input. I am very sensitive to loud noises and have a hard time focussing when I am in a room with many other people because I notice every sound and movement they make. When I am having a conversation with someone it takes longer before their words reach my brain so it takes longer for me to process what they say. Sometimes it annoys people because they think I am not paying attention to what they're saying.

All these things might not seem very serious because people around me barely notice it. Apart from the conversation thing. And because it is not seen it is considered as no big deal. While for me it really is a big deal. 'She acts normal so she must be fine'.

For non-autistic people: imagine always having someone walking behind you talking when you try to concentrate or have a converstaion and always making stranges movements that are impossible to ignore. That is what normal surroundings can be like for someone one the spectrum(not all for all autistic people though). It really tires people and it can even lead to meltdowns.

My meltdowns are more like shutdowns. Another reason why people don't see the struggles. I can just sit in class normally while having one and people won't even notice. But my mind is completely locked, I cannot hear what the teacher says and cannot think.

As a kid when I was in really crowded rooms, for example during birthday parties, and there was too much sensory overload I used to hide under tables and cry silently. I also became non responsive. People always thought it was weird but I didn't care. I don't hide under tables anymore but sometimes I really get the urge to do so. 

The image many people have of meltdowns is that it is like a temper tantrum with more screaming and anger. That's why my meltdowns/shutdowns don't seem autistic to people. But the fact that you don't notice it does not mean that it's not there.