Life with Brockhampton

Chapter eighteen

"greta.." ciaran begins to say, "no no no, this can't be happening.." i get up and grab my phone "i have to go to the doctor-" i stop mid-sentence, and look at matt. "you!-" i point at him. "it's all your fault!" i yell.

"me?! how?!"? matt yells back. "if you hadn't slept with bertha i wouldn't have slept with ciarán!" "slept with bertha? i didn't sleep with her!" he sounded confused. "th-there was a condom in our room matt! we hadn't slept together in awhile." i said. "i haven't been in our room greta, i've been staying on the couch.."

"ohhhh matthewww!" i hear bertha waltz into the room. she put her head on his shoulder. "get off." matt growls. "baby why?" she pouts. "i thought you liked last night ;)" she said, rubbing his arm. "nothing happened between us!" he yells. i don't know who to believe. "i gotta get out of here." i push my way through matt & bertha & see joba in the living room passed out.
typical.

i made my way to the car and just sit there. what should i do? i hate bertha. she ruins everything. that's when i thought of the perfect idea.

"siri, find hitmen near me 😎"

finding hitmen near you 😎

2 results.. okay i guess.
The first thing that popped up was a porno, the second is a number 👀

i dial the number & breath shakily into the phone. "hi sister, welcome to my hitman hotline! what can i do for you kitty girl?"

"who is this?"

"james charles 🤪"

"what're you doing as a hitman?"

"ever since tati ended my career i needed a source of income. anyway, who do i need to sister assassinate?"

"theres this bitch bertha. can you run her over or something? money isn't an issue btw."

"of course, let me just get my pinkity drinkity & i'll be on my way 😙"