Life with Brockhampton

Chapter twenty

What do you mean "shes gone" ciarán asked

"Dont worry about it"

They shrugged their shoulders and went back to what they were doing

I went to my room to lay down. I didnt feel well. I picked up my phone and the lock screen showed. Bertha and i on our first day at the coffee shop..

I immediately busted down crying. My best friend, the only family I had, was gone. she deserved it, i told myself. i thought about where i am now & how i got here, and how chaotic my life became in such a short amount of time. two guys fighting over me, three newborn babies, my best friend now dead. all because of me.

I grabbed the babies and got out of the house. I didn't know where i was going but I needed to go somewhere else.

I pulled up to the coffee shop and walked in slowly. I ordered a water and sat in the back, then my old manager came to me.

"Greta! it's been a while, how are you?"

"Do you think I could stay the night here, with the kids? It will only be one night i promise-"

"of course greta." he said as he reached for a hug.

i made my way to the supply closet & looked at the ruff ground below me....home sweet home. 🥺

i sat the triplets, who were in their car seats down by my old air mattress. it was still inflated. billy & bruce fell asleep immediately but bertrauma was restless, i cradled her in my arms thinking about the boys & the house.

Matt was no help & honestly neither
was ciaran. come to think of it the whole thing was pretty toxic for me.
i look down at my beautiful daughter who is now fast asleep, i lay her down in her car seat.

lost in my thoughts i find myself falling asleep as well.

-----

i woke up in the closet like i used to,
I looked outside the door and... I must be dreaming.. "bertha?" I said still waking up.

She looked at me and ran out the door.

I chased her down the street and finally caught up to her.

"Please don't hurt me" she said while sobbing and trying not to be too loud

"You're.... here.. how?!" i say looking her up and down. "i-i.." she stutters, i can't believe i made her so afraid of me :(

"i'm not gonna hurt you bertha.." i said walking closer.

"james let me go.." she said looking at the ground.

i knew that son of bitch couldn't do it.

bertha looked up and asked bashfully, "greta, can we talk? please?"

i nod my head.

we sat on my mattress & talked about everything. "greta i didn't sleep with matt, i slept with joba.."

"but why'd you lie bertha? we used to tell each other everything.."

"i guess i was just so jealous of you & your new lifestyle..i just wanted to be involved.."

we hugged it out and she asked me the inevitable question i knew was coming.

"so, who're you gonna choose? matt or ciarán?"

"I don't know yet. I have kids with both"

"well, who makes you happier?" she asked me.

"They both tore us apart." I said with my head down.

"well it was partly my fault too.." she said embarrassed.

we sat in silence for a minute before looking at each other once again.

"i choose you. you're my best friend."
tears streamed down my cheeks.

"and i choose you." she went to hug me & i returned it.

i sigh & say "i guess i should talk to the boys.." she nodded.

i get up & start for the house which was 30 minutes away but since i sprinted it was 5.

i take a deep breath & enter, matt & ciarán rush towards me. "greta! are you ok? we've been worried sick!" matt exclaimed. "yeah, where'd you go?" followed ciarán. "guys we need to talk." they nodded curiously.

"i saw bertha, today at the coffee shop."

"but you said she wasn't a problem anymore?" matt said.

"she's not."

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes.

"i can't stay here anymore." I said with my head down.

"but why? is it because I keep leaving the toilet seat up? i'll stop!" ciaran cried.

"Its not you it's me" I said completely balling my eyes out.

the boys rolled their eyes. "that's what everyone says."

the three of us were getting annoyed.

"Do you know how hard this is for me? I love you. So fucking much. I gave up everything for you. My closet, my job, my best friend. I loved being here, I've experienced a lot. You gave me so much. I will always love you-"

"What about the kids?" Matt asked.

"I haven't figured it out yet." I said.

"greta, choose me. please, i have more kids with you!!" ciarán begged.

"no ciaran. i've made a decision." i said weakly. slowly gaining more confidence i then said, "i'm moving back into the coffee shop."