Everything In Sight

Jealousy... its not fair, is it?

It isn't very fair of me to feel this way, is it? Especially when I ask you not to, either. No, I suppose it isn't. I'm doing the same thing I ask you not to do. It doesn't matter how severe it is, it isn't a good thing. I've been hurt by many other men and women in my life, and no, I am not really proud to say that. It isn't that much of a good thing at this age to have so much experience, but I suppose it can help. Its a blessing and a curse. But I've been hurt by everyone else, whether it was a man or a woman. I've been taught that it is hard to trust other people when you're in a relationship. I do not know anyone else's motives. I don't know what actions are happening behind locked and shut doors. I do not know what you are thinking about, or more specifically, who. You tell me that it's only me, and occasionally others, but how am I to know? How am I to be able to fully trust what you say? I know, even after a year I should be more trusting. But events have pursued and I've gotten hurt, even by you. I do not think you are the type of man to cheat, but when out of your senses or presented with something that you can not refuse, I'm not so sure. I believe that to be a product of my past relationships.  Perhaps it is unwell of me to bring past relationships into my new one, but I do not know how not to. My past relationships have molded me and my trust. I do apologize, though, for being such a hypocrite. I don't mean to. Do know that I am very happy with our relationship and how it has matured. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Not even the universe, or any of the many beyond ours. I was unlucky as a young girl, and I'm sorry for how that's made me who I am today. Please forgive me for that.

Love,

Angel.