Olga "The Destroyer" Volkovich and the Battle of the Bogs

CHAPTER FOUR: IN THE CAVE OF THE MIGHTY SEX BATS

"I'M FINALLY FREE!" Olga awoke, screaming, drenched in sweat, still under the impression that her body was in the process of being digested by a bear. 

A bitter sense of disappointment settled deep in her unchewed on bones, as she took in her surroundings and realized she was not, in fact, in the below-world with her beloved. And was instead lying on the damp floor of a most curiously decorated cave.

Ancient-looking candles, dripping with wax, covered the craggy cave walls. They provided a dim, eerie light, which glowed over six massive, elaborate beds draped in red satin sheets. 

The beds were strewn every which way, colorful, fluffy and bejeweled pillows laid atop them, with thick, tattered rugs beneath them. A great, wooden throne adorned with thin, leathery wings sat in the middle. 

A subpar painting of Belobog decapitating Chernobog hung above it. A wispy smoke floated in the air, carrying a pleasant aroma with it. Olga thought she might've landed herself in some sort of Kinky Sex Cavern.

"Kakogo chyorta...where am I?" She muttered to herself, slowly sitting up and attempting to focus her coma-logged brain back on surreality, begrudgingly.

"Olga?" A familiar, affected voice spoke from beside her. She turned her head, and saw a pulsating pile of flesh-colored Goo slither out of the darkness and into the candlelight.

"Lyle?" She breathed, but their conversation went no further than that, for a dozen hushed screeches drifted into the open room like a spooky wind.

Olga dug into her now especially-filthy cloak, searching for her secret shiv, but was met with only wet wool.

"Sooksin! My trusty shiv..." She grumbled, the rusty, stubby shiv was given to her by Mother Rattus many moons ago. And now, the last remnant of the Rat, was gone forever? 

At least she still had her Magick hand...she looked down, just to make sure it was still firmly glued to her wrist. It was, black and rotten as ever.

The screeching died out. Twelve Sexy Sapient Bats glided into view in the dim light, large and foreboding as their shadows, and naked as can be. 

They were led by Boris, whose blonde hair now hung untethered, able to fall freely over his broad shoulders. He looked as if he belonged on the cover of one of Madam Marfa's Odin Kopeck Romance Novellas. Not that Olga would know, of course. Or perhaps she was just a sad, sappy, lonely, hopeless romantic at hea--

"Shut up, suka, how about we focus on the giant naked bats instead??" Olga cursed inside her head to no one in particular. Oh yes, the Bats. Boris walked with his winged talons out, towards Olga and Lyle, smiling wide. 

Olga took this as a threat and raised her Black Hand, preparing to hex Boris with dysentery. He stopped and spoke slowly:

"Now wait--"

"Careful, Lyle, it may dry-suck us!" Olga interrupted Boris, who looked most offended by this statement.

"What the bloody hell did you just say?"

"Withdraw blood without oral-penetration, dry-sucking!"

"That sounds both terrible and made-up! Put your stupid hand down, you fool!" Lyle shouted. Olga spat into his goo. He wasn't very surprised by this, but still chose to scoff out of disgust.

"We don't do that anymore, we stick to regular old sucking now, much more sensual..." Boris joked, maybe, showing off his tiny fangs. Olga narrowed her eyes at the great Bat, but slowly lowered her hand.