Holding Back [COMPLETED]

Chapter 21 - "Are you happy, Haley Day?"

Steam pooled around Haley's feet as she stepped from the bathroom into the hallway. It had taken her almost half an hour to scrub off the spots of paint she had collected during the project. The day was crossing over into evening and the glow of house lights could be seen from the windows. No noise came from Matt's room, but Haley didn't find that surprising.

As she headed downstairs to find food, she heard movement coming from the kitchen. When she entered she found her mother pulling down a stack of plates and setting them on the counter. The air was filled with a spicy scent that made Haley's stomach rumble. At the sound of her, Haley's mother turned around.

"Hi sweetheart, you hungry?" she asked. "I picked up some Mexican. I thought we could eat and you could tell me how this project of yours is going?"

At the offer, Haley felt her heart lighten. But she didn't let the feeling grow too much, history telling her not to.

"You don't have work to do?" she asked.

Her mother let out a tired breath. In that instant, her face dropped and Haley could see the strain that had replaced the once bubbly person she knew.

"For now, it can wait. At least for an hour or two."

Trying not to seem too eager, Haley nodded and joined her mother, gathering utensils and napkins. As they moved about, she could almost feel the warmth that had once lived in that kitchen all the time. They were just dividing food when the front door opened and closed. The sound of footsteps proceeded Haley's father as he appeared. His suit jacket was over one arm and his tie had been loosened.

In the archway he stopped, his eyes landing on his wife. There was a tension in his body that spoke of more than just a long days work.

"Tess," he said, "we need to talk."

The words weren't firm or harsh but Haley felt as if the ember of warmth had been smothered. Haley's mother looked at him, then as if thinking the same thing, their eyes flickered to Haley and back to each other. With that fleeting look, Haley felt her spark of hope fizzle and die. Her heart clenched and stomach became a bottomless pit.

"Our room," he said.

Without another word, he left. Haley's mother looked at her, face tight with stress and exhaustion.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," she said. "When we're done talking we can eat."

Haley was already shaking her head.

"It's fine," she said, bottling up the thoughts that wanted to pour out. "I have homework to do anyway."

Giving Haley, a weary, half-hearted smile, her mother left. As she slipped through the archway, Haley felt her mind explode in a hundred different ways. The force of them hurt her heart. Feeling as if the storm in her mind was going to overtake her, she grabbed her food and darted upstairs. Leaving the plate on her desk, she dug around for her headphones and put them in.

After she climbed onto her bed, she buried her face in her hands as pulsing music filled her ears. She willed the rapid-fire lyrics to distract her, muting the endless tumble of thoughts. Part of her wanted to scream, to let loose the feeling of hopelessness that was building inside her. But she buried the desire further down, not wanting to add to the pain the walls already carried. She fell back on her bed, eyes closed trying to hold back the storm.

The minutes slipped away as one word chased another and one song followed the next. By the time Haley pushed herself up again it was dark outside and her food was stone cold. Her body felt drained, the wave of emotions leaving her depleted. She pulled her earbuds out, her thoughts having run themselves into exhaustion. There was no sound from downstairs and she didn't know if that was a good thing or bad thing.