"Do you really think i need friends mom?" I asked quit annoyingly, " yes you do, you really do."
And that was me and my moms typical morning argument. I never thought i needed friends, i mean i never liked playing in dirt as well, since i can remeber i was always the black sheep, as a 12 years old i didn't enjoy my bicycle rides, and at the age of 15 i didn't had much intrest in what girl is the most hot, the point is i always felt diffrent and i have always been different. And it wasn't quite the bet thing for a kid cuz as i can remeber being called gay was never my favorite thing to hear in my school.
the less i cared the happier i was, and that's what made me who i am.
After some suffering and quite bit of suffocating i found my self finely at my university. Well to describe it i should say that there is a bunch of people who are wearing the same shirts and jeans and pants and skirts and sneakers...ect, yet they were wearing different clothing. Well i guess you could see why im antisocial.
Classes were fine, well most of them because i really enjoy learning but i hate to study and that is the reason i have quite a lot of " how will this lesson help me in my future?" Arguments with my teachers.
I guess you got the picture.
After 30 minutes of doing my best in my class i had to ask for permission to leave in which i was given, so as i typically do and in this order:
1- put my earphones in
2- blast some music
3- put a cigarette between my lips
4-light end of something beautiful
And it is supposed to be it however this time something happened that i was not quit happy with.
"Hello, do you know where class b13 is?" A cute girl asked me " yeah, you go left take the stairs and it should be by the end of your left" i blew a smoke as i answered her, " thank you, I'm new here so i don't really know much"
i thought: oh fuck is he starting a conversation?
I thought: shit now i have to answer
I thought: FUCK what did she said
"Emm i see" i relied and just so you know when ever i say "emm i see" i actually and litterly do not "emm see"
" i see that you smoke?"
" ohh yeah it has been a while now"
" ahh that's good, i have just been back from my trip to Jamaica and i guess i have one in my bag..... let me see..." she reached into her bag and starting looking for something "here it is i found it" she leaned her hand to give me a cigarette which i politely declined " no sorry, i don't know you and therefore i guess i can not just take your....whatever thing you are giving me" she laughed " it is just a cigarette and a good one please take it so i can head off to class" so i took it and put it in my backpack just so she can leave and politely thanked her even though i was willing to throw whatever that was as soon as possible but now i have to go to class again.
I always enjoyed having dinner with my family and after that i loved to have a bath and some cigarettes, while my bath was filling up i went to grab my cigarettes but unfortunately i have only two left which are not enough for my 3 hour bath ...
I thought i have one in my backpack
I thought i shouldn't trust that girl
I thought but im too lazy to get out now
I thought well fuck it, what's the worse a cigarette can do.
Please don't think of dying cuz of smoking i don't need that kind of negativity in my thaughts.
It was a good bath but i still have one cigarette and yes it is the jamaican one, i couldn't risk and smoke it first, i mean it is jamaican after all.
I put my lips on the yellow tip of it and leaned to light it in a candle. Then leaned back to relax and then......
Wait what the fuck who am i? Holly shit is this me? Ohh god is this........
