HOCKEY MESS | Shawn Mendes fan fiction

12. New kiss

I'm in my room, and I'm in FaceTime with Hannah. She's telling me about how Nice Karen and Aaliyah are. I've never met Shawn's sister. I wonder how she is. I now see Shawn's family from a whole new angle. I'm touched that he felt good enough with me to tell me about his dad. It must be something really hard for him to deal with. I'm still wondering what would have happened if I hadn't had Hannah's notification. I brush that thought out of my mind and focus on what Hannah is saying.

And of course,

I also think about that kiss. I get butterflies in my stomach just at the thought of it. I clearly remember all the details. Me leaning in and him asking my permission to kiss me. We were so close I could smell his smell. It smelled like man but with a sweet touch of sweet. I can't believe I've had my first kiss. Well, it was that first kiss if you forget that time at the hockey game.

But what does it mean exactly? Does he likes me? I know how I feel about him. I like him a lot. I just feel good with him and I would like to spend everyday close to him. I'm not sure if he feels the same way. I know I'll have to asks him about it and it's making me really nervous.

« Maddie?! » says Hannah from my phone.

« Yeah? »

« You aren't paying attention. Are you okay? »

« Yeah I was just thinking about all the things I have to do. »

Like talking to Shawn.

« I was saying that the restaurant was amazing! Like I knew my dad's friend was rich but I'd never thought they were this rich! » I laugh at her face. Hannah looks shook.

« Your night was probably better than mine! » I lie. I know my night was probably a thousand times better.

« What did you do? »

« Just some homework in science. » I'm not totally lying. I'm kind of getting used to lying to people now. I know it's a bad habit that I shouldn't have but I just can't tell her. I've never lied to Hannah before. Maybe it isn't the best idea to hang out with Shawn. But there's just something about him that pulls me towards him. I shouldn't feel that way but I do.

« Wow. Science homework! I'm jealous. » we both laugh. Sarcasm is something we always do. It's nice to laugh with my best friend like that. That's why I need to keep my ,whatever kind of relationship I have with Shawn, a secret. So that I can keep my best friend. I'm just scared of my feelings growing stronger for this boy. And that kiss... I'll have to tell Hannah. But not now. I have to make sure that whatever is this thing that I have with Shawn, it's more than just a game to him. I don't want to risk my friendship with my best friend if it doesn't mean anything. I don't even know how she will react.

« Maddie? »

« Yeah? »

« Ok What's wrong? You have been smiling for no reason and you are clearly not paying attention. And I don't think it's because you're thinking of all the things that you have to do.»

I blush. I was smiling?

« So? Tell me what's up!»

If I tell her maybe she won't be that mad?...
Nah. I won't take that risk.

« well I didn't realize I was smiling! But there's nothing. So... I don't know what to tell you. »

« Come on Maddie! We're best friends! You can tell me! »

« There's Nothing! I can't tell you something if there's nothing! » I say with an irritated tone.

« Okay... you know what? I have to go to sleep. I'm really tired and there's school tomorrow. Goodnight. » She says on a cold tone and then hang up.