Psycho But Not Really

p s y c h o - 33

I cried.

Yes, like a baby. I cried myself to sleep every night.

I didn't eat.

I've loss a lot of weight.

I would occasionally go eat some fruits, and that's it. It's no gotten to the point where it's unhealthy for me. Melanie would make Lenny open the door to see if I was alright, they knew I've been starving myself, but they knew that they couldn't force me to eat.

This one day was the worst, I started to feel really nauseous, Lenny said that they had to take Manny to a monthly check up at the doctors and said Nate was going to stay home, I told Lenny it was fine, and I wouldn't be going anywhere. He left and like I said, I stayed in my room.

My nausea got even more worse when Lenny came back home.

Nate

Lenny and Melanie took Manny to the doctors, and I stayed home with Thea, Lenny asked me to check up on her at times, but I didn't want to make her upset, I knew she wasn't eating, and she was deliberating killing herself. So I just let her be.

When they got home, Lenny and Melanie were too busy with Manny, and Lenny asked me to go ask if Thea wanted to eat, which the answer would most likely be 'no'. I knocked on her door, "Thea, come out and eat, stop playing this stupid game, you're really going to die", I got no answer.

Almost every time we would ask her something she would always reply weakly, but something different. I started to fidget with the door knob, and panicked a little, "Thea?!" I raised my voice, still no answer, I called for Lenny, and he came running.

"What?!" He yelled, I pointed to the door, "Thea! I think she's in trouble", Lenny looked at me and started to bang on the door, it wasn't locked but something was restricting it to open. Lenny and I both slammed our sides to the door, and we fell in, knocking over a chair.

We saw Thea laying on her bed, she was still breathing, but not responding to our voices. Lenny quickly called a home doctor, and they said they'll arrive soon. I panicked a little and paced around the room. Melanie came in, and placed a wet town on her forehead. Knowing she did this to herself because of me, made my heart break.

When the doctor came, he said she needed her undressed, but just her shirt, so Melanie told us to get out the room, while she took off her shirt, Lenny and I stayed outside as Mel watched the doc do his work, incase something would happen. When the doctor came out, he fixed his tie and looked at us.

"Well?" I asked, he cleared his throat, "she's just malnourished, for the next couple of days, she'll need to take it slow, and eat little by little, and don't give her a hard time, it looks like she's been under a lot of stress" he said, and walked out. I let out a sigh of relief when I found out Thea was going to be okay.

Melanie came out, and quietly shut the door, looking up at me, her big doe eyes did those effects every girl did, they'd make you feel guilty, "Nate, please don't bother her until she's better" she sighed, and walked to join Lenny in the living room. I leaned against the wall, contemplating if i should go check up on Thea, but made my decision by walking away.

It felt like karma had hit me, hard. I was feeling more than guilty, I felt weak, I felt as if i shouldnt have went to the park that day, I put Thea in danger, and now she almost died because of me. I needed some fresh air, I marched my way to the indoor gym Lenny and I built in his basement. Without patching up my already ripped and injured knuckles, I punched the punching bag, and groaned from the pain.

"Fuck!"

I punched.

The voice in my head tempted me to punch more, for all the crimes and sins I commited

You did this to her

Punch

She hates you now

Punch, punch

I continuously punched until my knuckles were ripping and bleeding, i didnt care, i only wanted to feel the pain Thea felt. For a second I thought I felt water come up to my eyes, no! That can't be possible that I'm crying.

I haven't cried in a long time. Geez wonder how that feels. Maybe Thea can teach me.

"Take a break" I heard Lenny, I turned around and he was holding Manny in his arms. Now since that I'm living with Mel and Len, I wanted to be a good influence on Manny, I didn't want him to grow up and see that his uncle (close friend) was some murderer.

I sighed, and sat down, wrapping my hands in bandages, Lenny sat down as well, letting Manny lay on the mat, he's almost getting the hang of crawling. "Hey, take Mel and I's advice, she'll come around soon, and even if we end up in jail, at the end of the day, it was our faults, and we learn from them" Lenny said.

I didn't want to be lectured by a father, so I picked up Manny and sat him on my chest, and I laid down, his drool was already on me. I started to stare at him, he had Lenny's eyes, but Melanie's nose.

Manny started to speak baby language, and started to repeatedly punch my shoulder, Lenny laughed, "starting from a young age" he joked, I laughed as well. We played with Manny for a few minutes, when Mel said it was time for his bath.

I was about to get up, when Manny started to get fidgety, he squirmed and whined, I bounced him up and down when all of a sudden.

farrrrrt

The baby fucking farted, and probably shitted too. I held Manny in place, as the profound smell spread across the room, I was disgusted, I looked at Manny, and scowled, then at Lenny, who put his hands up in defence, indicating he didn't want the baby.

"He's your child"

"You're holding him"

"He's not my sperm"

"You're still holding him"

"God dammit Len just get him"

We argued back and forth about who was going to take Manny.

"Dude! Mel is going to kill us!" I screamed, Lenny raised his eyebrows, and laughed.

"Since you're going to be living with us, you need to do some work..." Lenny said and started walking back up. I cursed myself silently, then looked at Manny.

"You better not be difficult, just wait until I have a kid, I'll be making Len do all the work" I mumbled to myself as I walked up the stairs.

•••

Wanted to end this on a happy and funny scenario :)