Spellbound Affection

Chapter 12: Are You Happier Without Me?

(A/N: Because it's Kindaichi's birthday ≧ω≦)

(Third Person Point of View)

Tendou groaned, holding his head. It's been a solid week, since seeing the other party members.

Tendou sat up, and quickly made his way to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror.

"Fuck. I look awful, like a fish on the verge of spoiling."

Tendou washed himself, put on his Mage clothes, and went to the pub for some breakfast.

The pub was full, maybe some adventurers getting their breakfast as well before embarking on a quest.

But there was one table that stood out the most. It was the farthest table, and only one man was occupying it.

Ushijima.

Tendou sighed, ordered some food, and sat in front of Ushijima, the latter expressing a haywire of emotions but joy was evident.

"Hey." was all Tendou could say, after Ushijima was still speechless about his sudden appearance.

Ushijima didn't know how to start.
"I... Uh..."

"Where's Semisemi, ShiraBangs, Reon, and Goshiki?"

Ushijima blinked. "They... Went on individual quests. They each said they wanted to become more powerful."

Tendou hummed. "Heh... And you?"

Ushijima looked away. "It hasn't been the same without you."

Tendou left out a soft chuckle.
"This past week has been hell, don't you think?"

"Yes. Satori, I'm sorry--"

"I'm sorry, Wakatoshi-kun."

"But I should be saying that---"

"It was a constant battle between remembering and forgetting."

"..."

"I wanted to let you go, but I also prayed for you to come back to me."

"I haven't--"

"You know, when I think of love, your name is still the first thing that comes into my head."

Ushijima wanted to hug Tendou. Kiss him and tell him he had always been there and never left. That he will only love Tendou and no one else.

But he stopped the thought as he saw silent chrystalline tears rolling down Tendou's cheeks.

"I want you to be happier, even if it means that I have to leave."

"You can't---"

"Are you happier without me?" Tendou asked him rather sadly.

Ushijima sighed, and looked at the wooden ceiling. "It hurt like hell."

Tendou looked away.

"Happier? Satori, I was never happy with anyone else. It has always been you."

"Stop..."

Tears started to form into the corners of Ushijima's eyes as well.

"It hurt like hell when I hurt you. I'm deeply sorry. I don't ask you to forgive me right away because I do know it's unjustifiable, but I do hope you may find it in your heart to forgive me."

Tendou ruffled his own hair.
"Wakatoshi--"

"I've been searching for someone like you."

Tendou blinked. "Pardon?"

"You were like the bright asteroid that collided with my planet, with the intention of rewriting my history altogether, with you a part of it."

Tendou closed his eyes, a smile forming out of his lips. How Ushijima wanted to treasure that smile forever and cherish it.

"I didn't know you were capable of flowery words, Wakatoshi-kun."

Ushijima smiled at him. That smile. Tendou felt warmth again after a long time of cold embraces.

"Of course, you could've found someone better. But I wanted to be that 'someone better' for you, Satori. I can be what you want me to be. Just say the word. This is all I ever wanted, you and I."

"I'm a mess, Wakatoshi-kun."

"You are perfect just the way you are. Your imperfections are what make you perfect to love."

"You're just saying that."

Ushijima sighed. "I found my home in you, Satori."

Tendou laughed, almost bitterly.
"Turns out it was a lie. But, at least, for that short while, it was a beautiful one."

"I'm not--"

"One night, when I was walking alone, two wolves blocked my path."

"..."

"Both would devour me, so I gave them the shattered fragments of my soul."

"Satori..."

"They must've felt sympathy for me, so they gave me a red hood to protect me. However, they were still wolves, so the hood comes with a price."

"I..."

"There will come a time when the hood will change its colour, and find another owner. Leaving me. Pretty much how love works, don't you think so, Wakatoshi-kun?"

Ushijima stared at the doorway.
"Once when I was walking alone in the forest, a star came down at me."

"Speaking of parables too, aren't we, Wakatoshi-kun? You sure pick up so fast."

"It was a powerful star, and it asked me if I loved it."

"Of course."

Ushijima shook his head, and looked in Tendou's eyes knowingly.
"I told it, if you fall in love with the moon, there isn't any star that could make you take your eyes off of it."

Tendou smiled. "Sure."

Ushijima found his voice breaking.
"Please come back..."

Tendou's voice began to break, too.
"Maybe I'm not the one who you visualize when you think of someone who could offer you the moon."

"Please don't say that."

"Wakatoshi-kun, every night, I have always whispered to the stars. And they have known how often I wished if I could only be the moon, so I could see you everyday even if you're not seeing me."

"Satori. You aren't just a chapter in my book. You are the story. I... I love you."

Tendou laughed. "You always captivate me in ways no one else can, Wakatoshi-kun."

Ushijima held Tendou's hands, longing visible from his tear-stained eyes.

"Please let me prove it to you."