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The look that appeared on Sirius' face was something I had never seen before in my life, and it quite honestly scared me. Flashes of fear, sadness, regret filled his wide eyes, but under all of that was undeniable, insatiable rage. He quickly drew back from me and stood. He towered over me, a shadow was cast over my bed, blocking the sunlight from view.
"Who told you that?", Sirius spit out, but his voice shook giving him away. There was no way in hell I was telling him that it was Ro, especially with the way Sirius looked like he was about to punch a hole in the wall then burst into tears. "That doesn't matter", I said, trying to seem confident and in control. I was neither. "I need the truth, Sirius", I sat up a little. He began pacing back and forth, running his hands through his mess of hair. "Who told you that, Bri?", he breathed.
My heart clenched. He didn't say no. He didn't say no. The phrase swam around my brain, making me dizzy. He didn't say no. "So you did?", my voice was weak. I refused to cry. I would not let him see that I, like everyone else, had fallen prey to his stupid act and gotten hurt. He swiftly moved toward my bed, kneeling so we were at eye level. He was trembling, his jaw tight.
"Briony, listen to me", he said quickly, "It's much more complicated than you know". I let out a scoff, because if I didn't it would have been a sob. "Please, enlighten me then", I raised an eyebrow at him, suddenly became aware that the pain in my head was slowly creeping back up to unbearable.
His eyes looked pleading and he shook his head, searching for words. "I can't", he said softly. I wanted to scream, I wanted to throw my hands out and shake him until he realized what he was doing to me. "What happened to what you said before? What happened to always?", my voice was rising in pitch and intensity, and I knew tears were going to spill over at any second. Sirius looked at me, his lips beginning to shake. "Briony...", his voice cracked. "No!", I pushed.
I couldn't stop it, or the tears. Hot, stinging tears forced their way out of my eyes and I wiped them away furiously. Sirius looked like his world was falling apart at the seams. He buried his head in his hands, but I didn't stop. "Did you and your friends almost kill Severus Snape? Yes or No?", I let out, my voice low and slow. He didn't respond immediately, just ever so slightly moved his head out of his hands until our eyes met once again.
His eyes were red, causing the gold specks to stand out more than usual. I sat in my hospital bed, stoic and stubborn. I would get my answer if it killed me. Sirius didn't move either. The world seemed to freeze. "Yes", his gruff voice let out, barely above a whisper. I let out an involuntary guttural hiss. It was true then. I had ruined my relationship with my brother, gotten myself and my friends almost in serious trouble for sneaking out onto the grounds for a stupid bonfire, and let my guard down for a group of immature, dangerous guys. Hell one guy in particular, even though I hated to admit it. A guy who didn't even realize that murder was not a funny prank.
"If you care about me at all", I said quietly, "Give me an explanation. Any explanation. Please", my voice cracked on the last word and I cursed myself, why did I have to show so much weakness? Sirius scanned my face and then squeezed his eyes tightly shut as if he couldn't bare to look at me for another second. "I can't", he said though gritted teeth, each word slow and deliberate, as if it caused him great pain.
That was it. The familiar bubbling anger that I did such a good job controlling and keeping down exploded out. I threw myself up, pain rushing to my head, but I didn't care. "Open your eyes jackass", I said, my voice quickly climbing to the level of a scream, "How dare you pretend to be my friend for all this time!". His eyes were now wide, and he looked like every word I was saying was driving a hot knife into him. "I never want to see you or speak to you again", I continued, "Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't even think about me". Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks and I tried to continue speaking, but I couldn't because of the angry tears. There was so much I wanted to, needed to, say.
"Briony, please...", Sirius reached for my hand but I yanked it away. He leaned forward, almost getting another sentence out when, "Black!". Madame Juliana was storming over with the heat of a thousand fires at her heels. "Out!", she yanked him up by the collar of his shirt, "Last time I checked, upsetting patients to the point of tears is against the hospital wing rules". Sirius fought against her as she dragged him away from my bed. "Briony, I...", but his voice was cut off as the sound of the heavy doors slammed, leaving me alone in the hospital wing, my heart hurting much more than my head was.
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Pragma // s.b.
FanfictionPragma: long lasting love. Love that requires true commitment that comes from understanding, compromise and tolerance. It is referred to as "standing in love" rather than "falling in love". **** Briony Carter is a Hufflepuff with a strong will and...