"I asked him for it.
For the blood, the rust,
for the sin.
I didn't want the pearls other girls talked about,
or the fine marble of palaces, or even the roses in the mouth of servants.
I wanted pomegranates--
I wanted darkness
I want him.
So I grabb...
As Aidon drove me home, I couldn't keep the smile off of my face—every time I forced my lips into a neutral position, a minute later, the smile came back. Every extremity of me was giddy. Halfway through the drive, Aidon reached over and clasped my hand that I rested on my thigh. It was such a simple gesture, but it meant the world to me.
But the exhilaration instantly died the moment my house came into view. My mother stood in my driveway with a livid expression and crossed arms.
"Oh, shit," Aidon muttered.
"You took the words out of my mouth," I responded, my eyes never leaving my mother.
After we got out of the car, my mother marched over. I, instinctively, stepped closer to Aidon. He wrapped an arm around me in reply. "Calantha, where did I go wrong?" she shrieked. "I tried so hard to raise you always to follow the rules and always to listen, but I see that my lessons did not affect you!
"Do you see how ungrateful you are being? I provided you with a nice childhood and worked my butt off to give you all the necessities: a roof over your head, food, clean clothes—and this is how you repay me? I can't believe it!"
Every word that flew out of my mother's mouth felt like white-hot venom. I hung my head in shame. She's right; my mother slaved night and day to grant me a happy childhood—she even bought a house for me—and I went behind her back and did the one thing she told me not to.
"I'm sorry," my voice cracked, and the tears threatened to fall.
"You're sorry? Well, I am, too! You are no longer permitted to see this man!" she huffed and stomped into her house.
I watched her depart then turned to Aidon. "I think it's time we stopped seeing each other," I whispered, not holding faith in my voice to function correctly.
"Magnolia—"
"Please, Aidon. Just go."
He opened his mouth to say more but closed it in defeat. He finally nodded and took a step closer, placing a chaste kiss on my forehead. "I shall leave, but know, this is not me surrendering."
As he got back into his car, every fiber in me screamed at me to call him back, to go and apologize.
But I didn't.
As I climbed the stairs to my room, I couldn't breathe. My throat closed, and my heart beat like I just finished a marathon. I quickly shut my door and rushed to my bathroom, barely making it to the toilet to purge the remnants of tonight's perfect meal. After I couldn't vomit anymore, I leaned back as the tears ran down my cheeks and chin.
Why is my life like this? Why must I suffer every day?
When my tears ceased, I brushed my teeth, eager to get the revolting taste of bile out of my mouth. I stared into the mirror after spitting out the minty substance. A girl with clammy, ashen skin stared back. The happiness and animation from the past few days vanished, leaving her green eyes void of emotion and hallow. She looked like a ghost.
Is this girl me?
What have I become? I start dating one guy, and when it ends, I freak out. How pathetic am I?
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