Darkside

10

His eyes, which were wide open, watching you.

As soon as he notices that you know he's watching you, Jungkook instantly averts his gaze to avoid yours. He turns just the slightest so he's no longer directly facing you, but more of facing the window instead.

Jungkook looks out the window, expression blank, unreadable. He looks outside, observing the world while completely ignoring the fact that you were in the room with him. Your heart stings from his cold demeanor, but you know it's not hatred that's making him act like this.

You've known Jungkook long enough to identify that what he's feeling right now is empty and guilty.

"Why am I still here?" He mutters lowly, words empty and hard. The question isn't directed at you, but at himself.

"Because you deserve to," You whisper in response. "Because we want you to be here."

Jungkook finally breaks out of his emotionless facade. "And who said I wanted to be here? Why does everyone get the final say in everything, while I just have to follow and obey?" His voice cracks on the last word, and his face is contorted into a mask of anger.

He adjusts his position on the bed, sitting upright. Your hands ghost over, making sure that he doesn't get any tubes detached or hurt himself in any way. Jungkook watches your hands in disgust, and you put them back down to your sides.

"Why are you even here, Y/N?" His voice is strained and tired. His gaze is fixed to the bed, trying to hide his face.

He's bad with emotions, and you've known that ever since you were kids. Every time he wants to hide something from you, he'd look away, or more specifically, look down.

"I'm here because I'm your best friend, and I'll always be here for you."

Jungkook laughs, but it's cold and empty. Exactly like what he wants to be. Cold, heartless and cruel. He wants to be rid of his emotions, but he can't control them. So he would rather lie to everyone about how he feels, so that just maybe, one day, he'd believe it himself. "Stop lying and sapping everything with your cheesy quotes. We both know that's a lie."

No matter how hard you were trying, you couldn't hold your emotions back. You felt a harder sting in your chest this time. Biting your lip, you try to hold the suppressing feeling down in your chest. Focus, Y/N. It's about him now, not you.

"It doesn't have to be a lie," You say softly, "I could help you if only you'd let me in."

He scoffs. "Yeah, right. As though all those years of you trying to intrude and help me were actually useful." He makes air bubbles with his hands to quote the words 'help me'.

"Jeon Jungkook, you're a bastard." Slamming your hand down loudly on your lap, you clench your jaw, holding back the tears and trying to cover them up with your anger. "You, of all people, know I've fucking tried my best to help you. You have absolutely no right to treat me like this."

Getting up so quickly and violently that the chair screeches as you stand, Jungkook flinches. "I can't take this anymore." You say in a more quiet tone after observing his reaction, before taking quick steps towards the door, wanting to get away from him before your angry demeanor could crack.

"Wait," He calls out in a far softer tone than before. You halt in your steps, hand still on the doorknob. "I'm sorry. Y/N, please, don't go," He pleads.

The warm and angry tears are flooding your eyes, blurring your vision. "What more do you have to say to me? You're the one who wants me gone, anyway."

"Y/N," You're caught off guard by the slight waver in his voice. "Please?"

You wished you weren't this weak. Wished that you could have just walked out of the door to save yourself from all this pain, escape before you got in too deep. But you were cursed to love him, and so this was what you got.