Critiques [CLOSED]

#75 Hunter's Shadow

Hunter's Shadow by @EmmaConnolly379
CHAPTERS 12, 13 AND PROLOGUE

I know I keep saying this but APOSTROPHES OF POSSESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again, you need spaces between the dashes.

Dialogue - when you have a dialogue tag, you need to end the speech with a comma. If there's an action, you need a full stop. Like this:

"Hello," said Linda.

This is the dialogue tag one ^^

"Hello." Linda waved across the room.

This is the action one. ^^

Commas before names.

Numbers spelled out look more formal.

About the flashback (was it even a flashback?) I would end the chapter like where I suggested in the comments or - even better - add asterisks.

Like you asked, I did a thorough check of the prologue. Go through that and change everything.

Overall, this is coming along really well. I think you need more scenes with just Hannah and Blake - I don't know. Maybe that could be coming in the future.

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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