Critiques [CLOSED]

#151 My Best Friend's Lover

My Best Friend's Lover by @bandito06

You need more showing and not telling. So instead of saying "This makes me anxious" you should add something along the lines of the symptoms of feeling anxious (sweaty palms, increased heart rate etc).

Occasionally some errors were made but not too many. Dialogue was good and so was the formatting which actually made me so happy since no one who comes to me ever really does it right!

Comparative + than

You should have more of a plot twist with Penny loving Megan. It's the kind of thing you can drag out and really delve into.

Commas before names.

You need a space before and after a dash.

Who's = who is
Whose = belonging to who

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