"Please... Please don't do this" she said almost inaudibly due to her continuous crying. "I... I will do anything. I'll change everything. Just please, please don't leave me. You can't.. I can't live without you with me. Please... love." She begged him.
But as if he can't hear her cries, he continues to pack his things. He made up his mind. He will leave today. They endured for too long already. And also, his precious Adelaide has waited for too long. He's going to end everything now.
"Hanna, please. Stop this. You know I don't love you anymore. Let's stop making it hard for each other." He tried to stop her from looking so pathetic. Of course, he doesn't want to leave her miserable too. But he's got no choice. It's over for them.
"I-I know.. but please.. you know I can't live without you. P-please, I'm going to do everything." She said, sounding so desperate just for him to stay with her. Her heart is breaking every second. "I-I'll put on that lipstick you want me to.. I-I'll fix my hair like you want me to. I will, I will wear whatever you want me to wear. J-just pleeease, please don't leave me Eros.. please." Her begging voice is slowly turning weak.
She knew. She knew it was too late. There's no turning back for them now. He is going to leave. She knew, and it is breaking her, literally and figuratively. She saw how her hand slowly turned translucent, almost transparent. She was so scared. But, he is leaving.
"I am really sorry, Hanna. You know I loved you. I really did. But, ours just don't work out anymore. I hope you understand." He said straight into her eyes that are still full of that salty water waiting to fall. He holds her shoulders, as if trying to instill every single word he says into her obviously in chaos mind, "please be happy, Hanna. I wish for your happiness sincerely. Take care of yourself." He said before turning his back on her. He gave her one last look before closing the door.
He's gone. He really is gone. He left me.
With these thoughts racing through her mind, she doesn't seem to mind that almost half of her body is turning. She seemed unaware of the noise outside of the house with all the noise of the market place. She can't feel the pain from her cut when she last did it just for him to stay. She can't feel anything. Suddenly, everything is so quiet. She can't hear a thing. It was like everything is in slow motion. With all the mess around her, it was like a movie put into slow motion and muted. She is numb. She can't even feel her heart breaking anymore; it was like a blissful mercy for her. To be able not feel anything when everything is coming to an end. Not wanting to get going without leaving her love a one last message, she reached for a pen and a piece of paper.
To my love,
I hope you are happy with her now. You will always have my heart even if you don't want it anymore. I love you.
Sincerely,
Hanna
Finally, giving the place one last meaningful look, she slowly disappeared into thin air. Lost, forever.
It has been days since he moved to her girlfriend, Adelaide's house. She is a sweet. Graceful in every move she make, and with a pure heart. She's such a beauty, with a heart.
And that's why I fell for her. He thought.
As if someone just passed through him (even though clearly there's no one since there are only two of them in the house) the cold air that just blew sent shiver down his spine. And as if on cue, he thought of her.
Hanna. Maybe I should pay her a visit.
It was nostalgic, walking on the streets to her house. It brings out all the memories of her as if flooding him with thoughts of her. She has been a part of him, and will always be.
No one can change that. I hope she understands. He thought.
It has been fifteen minutes since he knocked and there's no answer. He's getting worried.
It's Saturday. She stays at home on Saturdays. She doesn't do anything that needs to be outside. So what's wrong? Why isn't she opening the door? Is she sick? Or is just too lazy to open the door? This girl, she really can't be left alone.
Finally deciding that she may be just too lazy to open the door, he tried to search for the key under the doormat.
Gotcha.
Opening the door, there is no one inside. Nothing was changed, ever since he left. He is worried. He went back outside and asked their favourite neighbour.
"hi! Uhm, have you seen Hanna go outside? She's not inside."
"She never went out after you left. And I don't know. I can't hear even the slightest movement in your room. Did something happen, dear? Did you two fight? I also tried to talk to her but she won't open the door." Mrs Anderson asked worriedly. She has been their mother for as long as they have stayed in that place. He didn't have the answers. But he had a bad feeling about it.
Did she cut herself again? What is it this time, Hanna. You are making me worried.
He went inside the room again. He searched and searched, but no sign of her. He was about to leave when a piece of paper caught his eye. It was her handwriting. She had a unique and beautiful handwriting that it's hard to mistook it for other's.
To my love,
I hope you are happy with her now. You will always have my heart even if you don't want it anymore. I love you.
Sincerely,
Hanna
And it dawned on him. He remembered her words well. Filled with guilt and remorse towards himself, all he can do now is cry for the loss that he can never ever have again.
