Inquest (Completed)

Survey

Krupa cleared her throat, looked hesitantly at Dhruv, then back in her phone screen. The questions were in her phone. In another reality, she would've enjoyed doing this, but the guilt was stayed put. It showed on her face only for an instant, and then she hid it. Dhruv didn't notice. He was having other doubts, which he voiced:

"You've done this survey with yourself too, right?"

"Yes," she replied. She had done it in her mind, and often.

"Will my name remain anonymous or does it need to be revealed...? I would prefer anonymous..."

"It'll remain anonymous..."

"Why not use a Google form...? It's much better, you know? For surveys and stuff... I guess... Although I haven't used it myself..."

"Um... I don't know really... But I think it's because our tone won't be recorded... And it's not the same as answering the questions when a person asks you directly, you know what I mean...?"

Dhruv didn't, but he nodded.

"How will you record my answers? Like audio or text?"

"If you don't mind, then audio... I'll type it later and send the text to that friend..."

"You can send the audio too... I don't mind..."

"Okay then..."

"For which subject is this...? Psychology?"

"Yes, my friend is working on a project... Study related only..."

"So are my replies going to be published or something...?"

"No... Maybe... I don't know... But any information that would point to you won't be shared..."

"Okay..."

"So, shall we begin?"

"Wait, um... can I choose not to answer a question...?"

Krupa gave a knowing-smile that unsettled and calmed Dhruv simultaneously. "Just say what you want to, if you don't want to answer, say 'Next'... Just remember, don't say something because you think that's what I want to hear... Answer a question as if you are asking yourself..." She knew this was going to take time. She was prepared for that. Dhruv gave a curt nod to begin. Krupa started:

"On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you with your life?"

Dhruv's eyebrows knotted, thinking. He considered different factors that would affect his current state of happiness, but then Krupa was an important factor among those, and he didn't want to give her any indication that he might not be happy at present, since he was with her. People didn't like it if someone in your company wasn't happy. They assumed the unhappiness was because of them. But he had to give a reasonable answer. A 10 was a big no. He answered, '8', but then realized he was doing exactly what she had warned not to. He was saying something that he expected Krupa to hear, so that it won't hurt her feelings. But would saying 'I'm not that happy...' really hurt her? After all, the survey wasn't about her. But before he could say anything, Krupa asked the next one:

"How would you describe how your life has treated you so far?"

Dhruv got lost thinking, again. But this time, he was careful to not consider how his answer would affect Krupa. After all, it wasn't personal. He said, "Um... Not too harshly, I think..." He believed Life had been kind to him in many ways, but Life isn't perfect... He accepted the unpleasant things he received along the way.

Krupa waited to see whether he had anything more to say before asking the next question: "What does friendship mean to you?"

This was a tough one, thought Dhruv. "Trusting in each other, and um... to be there for someone even during their hard times... in whichever way possible..." He was most satisfied with this answer. Was it straight out of a textbook though? Krupa reacted differently to the former part of his answer, and relaxed on hearing the latter.

"If you could undo something in your past in order to make your current life happier, what would it be?"

Dhruv had come across this question before. It was based on regrets. He didn't really have that many regrets, did he?-he wondered. Giving up Sudoku would be one. But he could still undo it. He would undo making friends with Gaurav. That guy had caused him quite some regrets back then. Maybe if he had had the courage to confess to Krupa back then, things would've been different today. He finally said, "I would try to minimize my regrets... For instance, I would not give up solving Sudokus... I would be careful about whom I spend my time with... and what I share with others..."

"Do you feel guilty about something currently?" Krupa asked Dhruv, while saying to herself "I do..."

"Um... Yes, of my past mistakes... Some of which caused me regret..." This question felt easy to answer. Everyone had something or the other that they were guilty about- thought Dhruv.

"Okay, second last: do you believe in True Love? Two people destined to be together...?"

Dhruv didn't know what to say. Why did it have to be Krupa who asks him such a question? Warily, he said, "True love is possible, but rarely... It happens when two people fall in love with each other and both know it..."

"Last one: What are your fears? This one is tough so take your time..."

"Okay..." After a couple of moments, he shut his eyes. What did he fear? Failure? Disapproval? Isolation? Death? He was afraid of losing people whom he loved... He was afraid of countless things! He wondered what to say. He could just say something to satisfy the question and end the questionnaire. But he wasn't afraid of saying what's on his mind, was he? -he asked himself. Finally, he decided to list them one by one: "Well, I'm scared of lizards, snakes and all slithery things. I fear losing people whom I care about, losing as in, not just death, but in other ways too... I don't like heights either. I get tensed when someone asks me what I want to do in my life cause I myself don't know what it is... But I think that at a point of age, like when you complete your tenth grade, we do come to know what we want to become, if we are observant. But I don't know if I want to do that anymore... Anyway, right, back to my fears: Oh yes, I'm afraid of becoming something that I don't want to be... That's it, I think..."

Krupa: "Wow, that's... impressive..."

Krupa saved the recording and thanked Dhruv for participating in the survey. Dhruv somehow felt lighter. They decided to leave, as it was getting late. Dhruv wondered when he would get to meet her next. To his surprise, he found himself asking her the same question aloud. Krupa smiled, answering: "Let's see..."

Just when they were heading towards the main exit, a familiar face came in the vicinity and called out, 'Krupa!', 'Dhruv!' The two stopped abruptly and turned to their right, where the sound came from.