Fucked My Way Up To The Top

1. Fucked My Way Up To The Top

Dear diary,

my life is a mess. I live from a club to club. I get wasted all the time and I don't remember the last time I was sober.. What could I do? Yesterday, one old lady..

Elizabeth Grant stopped writing into her diary and she grabbed a bucket from the night table. She started to vomit. And she did it because she was wasted like any other day before.

She was at home in New York and she was lying on her bed. The bed was on the corner of dark, small bedroom. On the walls were pictures of Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra and others everywhere. Everything was build in this bedroom the way you would feel like in some artistic lair.

Elizabeth, or Lizzy how friends used to call her, had a bad headache and she vomited all the time. Suddenly, her phone started to ring. Lizzy was raking through her stuff when she finally found her white Iphone and she picked it up. She laid on the bed and she closed her eyes.

"Halo?" she said with hoarse voice.

"Lizzy? You forgot your wallet at the club." her friend Julie yelled at her on the phone and her high and drunk voice was dugging into Lizzy's ears.

"Okay, I'll be there tonight." Lizzy said and then she tiredly threw her phone across the room. She didn't care if she broke it, she just wanted to sleep. But she must go tonight in the club so she can take her wallet. But in real, it's just another excuse to go to the club and get drunk.

________________________________________________________________________

"Halooo, my dear!" Julie came at the club to her that night and she hugged her. Julie had her big green eyes totaly opened and her reddish ruddy hair was in ponytail. She was smiling at Lizzy and she was happy to see her.

Mercury night club was at the center of New York. If you wanted to visit it you must have fake ID and many friends. Everyone knew here everyone and there were every night a loads of alcohol. Everybody was smoking there and some of them were dancing on fast and energetic songs. There were also drug addicts, but Lizzy wasn't that person. She danced everytime she got there and she drank bunch of drinks. She liked whiskey the most.

"Julie, I just came to get my wallet." she said and Julie offered her cigarette. Lizzy took one piece and she lit it. She took a deep breathe and then she felt a soothing feeling. She started to see blurred.

"What? I didn't hear you!" Julie screamed because a really loud music started to play. Julie took Lizzy's hand and she dragged her to one of the tables. The tables were in the line right next to the bar. In the middle was dance floor and Lizzy saw a few dancers on it. But it was too soon for dancing. They weren't wasted enough.

Julie sat to the table where there were a few teenagers who Lizzy of course knew. Lizzy sat next to Mark, a guy who had pale skin, blue eyes and blond hair. He pretended to be the biggest badass in the club, but everybody knew it was just a cover for his destroyed childhood.

Julie gave the wallet to Lizzy and then she turned to some other guy.

"You were so drunk last night Lizzy!" Mark shouted to Lizzy's ear so she could hear him.

"I know." she shouted back and then they laughed. He grabbed her hand and they both came to the bar.

"Two vodkas, please." Mark ordered and then he gave one to Lizzy.

"On me." He said with a smile and then they drank it.

Then he ordered more and more vodkas. Lizzy started to have this feeling she love- her world was spinning around and she was happy and laughing all the time. She had that feeling, that she loves everybody. Even Mark. Mark grabbed her waist and then they danced in the middle of the dance floor. She had feeling that Mark didn't drink that much as her. But they had a great time. He started to kiss her and she liked it. Her world wasn't existing, she could do anything she wanted.

At that moment, Lizzy was free.

_____________________________________________________________________

Dear Diary,

I didn't know what happened. Last night, I was in the club and then everything changed. We were with Mark in the cab and then we were at home. My home. My parents wasn't luckily home. Or unfortunately? Anyway, he got into my room with me and next thing I remember was how he was saying: "Don't worry, it won't hurt." And then I just remember that it hurts, even when he promised me it won't. Then he dissapeard and I woke up all alone. He was gone. And my virginity with him.

Lizzy stopped writing. Her tears rolled down her cheek and she started to scream. Her head was hurting really bad and she was depressed. She got drunk again but this time she wasn't unharmed. This guy took her what she was saving for someone special. Lizzy was maybe a party girl, but she didn't expect this to happen. She never wanted to do it like this. This went really far. She can't let things be this way anymore.

______________________________________________________________________

"Mum, dad." Lizzy called her parents to pay her attention. They were both in the kitchen, but when Lizzy called them, they looked at her and they came to the living room and sat down on the couch.

"I just wanted you to say, that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I got drunk everytime you see me. You were giving me lectures, but it didn't help. I think that you should send me to rehab." she said and then she realized that it sounded stupid and how big mistake she just did. Well, not really, but she doesn't wanted to go to rehab. She just need to go to rehab.

"Honey, are you sure?" Her mum said with a worried face and her dad was just quietly sitting there.

"No, I'm not sure mum. That's why I need to go there. I'm addicted to alcohol, mum. And I know you know that." she said and then it was just overwhelming silence in that room. First who broke it was her dad.

"Yes, we should do that a long time ago. You are going to rehab. And nothing will change our minds now."

Lizzy was little bit scared and angry at herself. How could she do this? But then she realized what happened that night. She didn't wanted to be that girl. That whore. She wanted to prove something to this stupid world. And for that, she must be sober.

______________________________________________________________________

Sooo, guys, how do you like this new fanfic? I decided to write about Lana Del Rey before her fame. She is about 17 years old here. I know it's not matching to her real life, but I need her to be that old. And there will be also not really matching facts about her and her life, but I promise to stick the most to the reality. So I hope you'll like this and please comment if you have some .. comments or ideas about this :)

Love, Shila