mirror // pansy parkinson

five

Their reactions made me wish I had a camera at that moment.

Madam Pomfrey practically leapt, yelping at my shriek. Professor McGonagall's small glasses wasn't perfectly on her eyes anymore- maybe she was so shocked she vibrated on the spot.

But I didn't laugh. My heart drummed beneath my chest as I sat on the hard yet comfy bed, breathing heavily. I blew a strand of hair from my eyes- to avoid it from covering my sight, then I instantly remembered that my eyes were damaged.

I squinted to take a good look at the two ladies. 'What disease? I have a disease now? All of a sudden? I was perfectly fine yesterday, missus! I-'

'Miss Parkinson, I recommend you to take a deep breath,' Professor McGonagall heaved.

'Oh because why, huh? Because I won't breathe anymore?'

'Pansy Parkinson!' Madam Pomfrey exclaimed with a horrified tone and expression. 'What kind of thinking is that?'

'Why? It's true, right?' I said, trembling. 'Right, professor?'

'NO,' she firmly replied. 'Certainly not.'

'...but what about the burn marks?'

'Don't have to worry about that-' Madam Pomfrey started to say but I cut her off.

'I think I have to worry about everything now. And, oh, what's Rimmond Macey?'

'Richmond Marvess,' McGonagall corrected me. 'And yes, you have the right to worry and know everything.'

'I'm listening.'

'Alas, not now, dear. The two of us did not know what exactly is wrong. We are only being told that we have to keep an eye on the Parkinsons. Greta Felix only told Poppy about the burnt marks which I am quite offended-'

'Greta who now?' I cut my headmistress off with the curt question. She sighed, fixing her glasses.

'Tomorrow, dear. We will head to the..um..hospital tomorrow.'

'Hospital?' I echoed the word incredulously.

'Yes.'

I stared in space for 3 seconds before focusing back at the two women with a jolt. 'Wait, tomorrow? My classes-'

'No need to worry about that, Miss Parkinson,' Professor McGonagall interrupted my words. 'You may go to your dormitory now.'

'I...fine.'

I slowly slipped off the bed. My head throbbed and the world was spinning as both of my feet touched the ground. But I didn't care. It's just a silly headache.

Maybe I'll experience death at an early age (maybe even now), which is more than just a pain in the head.

Without bidding goodbye, I headed straight to the doors and slammed it shut behind me.

-

'She won't tell me.'

It was in the middle of the night and the words woke me up. Daphne. I rolled to the other side, not facing them.

'Shh! You'll wake the poor girl up!' Lily whispered.

'She's fast asleep, Lils.'

'Still. But it's weird, why won't she tell us why?'

'I don't know! I think it's because she needs to wear glasses.'

'Huh. Is it that bad to wear glasses?'

'Potter wears glasses.'

'Well said.'

'I bet she'll look fine wearing glasses, though.'

I doubt that. I thought to myself bitterly.

Why should I care whether I look pretty without glasses or with? I am already ugly since birth!

And nearly everyone in this school called me 'pugface'.

Even you.

I just wish I'm as pretty as Hermione Granger or Ginny Weasley. Or even Cho Chang. Or Luna Lovegood. Or Astoria. Or Daphne. Or Lily. Heck, I wish I could be prettier than them.

And not to mention my hair. My simple, plain, dull black hair. It's always messy no matter how hard I tried to keep it in place.

And, merlin, I can't count how much wrongness my face have. It's more than uncountable.

I took a deep breath.

Stop caring about your appearances. You're ill.

You're ill.

You're freaking ill.

You're finding all answers tomorrow.

Don't lose hope to live.

Why are you losing hope to live?

Don't you want to live?

A pause.

Not really.

I fell asleep.

-

I was in my very second class when Professor McGonagall stormed in and asked for me.

'Unfortunately I can't go, only Poppy will escort you there,' she said, walking towards the infirmary with me trailing like a lousy duck behind.

I'm getting crazy.

'So,' I chirped, speeding to catch up with Poppy- I mean Madam Pomfrey. 'Where is the Richmond Marvess?'

'Not here,' she said, serious.

'WELL DUH,' I snapped without thinking. 'But where specifically?'

'It's hard to say...we're just going to apparate there. Do you know how to apparate?'

'Um.' I blinked. 'Maybe. But I'm afraid of getting splinched.'

'It's okay, Parkinson. I can apparate us both there.' She sounded unjust.

'Are you...okay?' I asked her, concerned.

She stopped in an empty hallway with me beside her. She took a deep breath and looked at me.

'All the previous nurses and I of Hogwarts has been warned about this disease of the Parkinsons. So don't bother asking why am I so jumpy.'

She took out her wand, motioned me to hold her arm and off we went.