Someone Still Loves You | Max x Neil [Camp Camp]

8] Imminent Cold

Max

I step out of the cabin and into the cold night. The biting wind seeps into my clothes despite wearing a hoodie. I sigh, a barely visible cloud of mist appears. 

I'm so tired. I could barely catch a wink because it's always Neil inside my head and I can't get him out of my mind.

I'm so tired but I miss him.

I trudge towards the lake, tired and worn out. There's a problem though. How am I supposed to let him know about my feelings? What should I tell him?

I breathe in the humid air, only instead-- I feel like it's sucking the air out of me. How the hell am I supposed to confess when every time I'm in his field of vision, his shoulders tense up like I'm going to hit him? Not that I would hit him, of course. It's just that unbelievable.

That Neil-- who is as idiotic as he is intellectual would even like me that way.

Would he?

My face grows warm in contrast to my freezing hands. I'm hallucinating. 

Neil briefly flashes in my mind.

Yes, definitely hallucinating.

I sigh, sitting by the shimmering lake under the moonlight and burying my being with these hypothetical questions. I dug my fingers into the sand and dragged them along the sand, feeling the rough surface against my smooth ones. And before I knew it I was drawing hearts on the sand. I heard my heart beat in my ears as I stared at what I made. Before long, I felt warmer than cold.

*

I nearly passed out when someone creeped around the corner and nudged me to life. 

"Ah, fuck! Shit." I squinted my eyes at the frowning figure in front of me before scoffing at him. "Oh, David, it's just you." I looked at him suspiciously. Said counselor frowned harder.

"Max? Why are you still awake?"

"I'm relaxing." I say irritated. "What are you doing here?"

David yawns, "Checking on the campers if they're breaking curfew." Not with that state you aren't.

Then I say, "There's no fucking curfew, David."

"Oh, you know what I mean." He says while I look away, legs still crossed on the sand. 

It's silence for a while before I realized it was too silent. I look back to see David staring at the sand when I realize I haven't erased the damn thing. Oh, fuck.

I quickly stand up, feeling embarrassment on my face and radiating from me in waves. Hastily, I kicked at the sand for it to disappear and accidentally got some sand in David's eyes. He yelps and attempts to get the sand out.

"Max!" He says in the tone of 'what did you do that for!?'.

"Shit, I'm sorry-- I mean, ah, shit." I sigh exasperatedly and silently reprimanding myself for stumbling on my words. David deflates a little when he finally gets the sand out and looks at me.

"It's okay, Max." He reassures me. Of fucking course. 

But the way David says it has me reeling, since it could mean many things and the most obvious would be saying "it's okay." when I kicked sand into his eyes. Okay, because he understands? Okay, because whatever I do won't affect him as much? Because of my cussing and all the other horrible things I have done for the past 4 years in this godforsaken camp?