Someone Still Loves You | Max x Neil [Camp Camp]

7] I Wanna Know

"--at first he said he was okay with me sneaking into his bed! You know, the usual stuff, but then, I was gone for one. night. I was at David's for one fucking night and when I came back he just started ignoring me like I'm the freaking plague, Nikki!"

Said girl nods sympathetically.

"I feel you, Max."

"No, you fucking don't." I scowl, my back laying on the ground as are the rest of my body parts. Nikki looks like she's about to roll her eyes but she continues.

"Even Ered's starting to do the same thing." She says with a tone of indifference. I'm about to say shit about this old revelation but cuts me off when I open my mouth. "I noticed. It's always been there, but it's whatever."

I scoff. I just want to do something with this strange feeling in my chest or I'm going to feel like I'm going to fucking burst. I just want to do-- something. There's never a day where I don't feel helpless or where I don't know what to do with myself. Obviously, I'm never telling David-- he's a fucking counselor. I wouldn't listen to one, nevertheless, do what they say.

Which I have not done. On multiple occasions.

"She's really cool, Max. Although, I'm not sure if she's cool with me." Nikki says self-consciously and looks down momentarily. Her arms support her weight when she pushes off from her perched position on the rock. I remember I'm still here with Nikki and not where I want to be. For a moment, I'm struck with blankness. Should I respond like I always have? Or be an ignorant asshole?

A loud clap startles me and I look up to see Nikki, hands still clasped together.

"Well!" She grins widely and cheerfully as if nothing such as vulnerability ever existed, which isn't like Nikki at all to be honest.

Wait. It is. "This has been great and all, but I should--"

I knew my friends were fucking idiots. I was hoping they'd be able to make better choices without me. I think they could. What a waste of fucking potential in this stupid camp we all presumably know and love.

I scowl deeply and narrow my eyes, "You sure you wanna keep hanging out with Ered?" Nikki stares blankly. I sigh exaggeratedly. "Let me rephrase that. Logically, when someone does not like you, you usually stay away from them, right?"

She nods. "Yeah. Ered's cool." My eye twitches. I drag a palm down my tired face.

"Fucking-- ugh. You'll fix it, whatever you have. In the meantime, hang out with Nerris or something."

I didn't even say anything but Nikki's eyes brighten either way.

"Aye, aye!" Nikki yells as she makes a mad dash towards the tower of Nerris the cute. The sound of her yells become softer, but become drastically loud when she comes running back.

"I.. almost...forgot! Neil-- yeah, just confess to him. High chance.. of.. him loving you back or something. Okay, bye!" She hollers, wheezing at me between breaths before running off again. I feel my eyes widen because what?

What the fuck?

I know what I fucking heard, I just can't fucking process that shit in my head.

"What do you mean just confess!? That's shit! What do you mean!?" I shout, asking for answers that won't ever be given to me. Nevertheless, those answers will frustrate and never assure me. I try to yell after her but she's disappeared.

"The fuck does that fucking entail!?"

*

It's been a day and Neil is still ignoring me. He constantly wakes up early to eat breakfast and is always one step ahead of me. I ignored it at first, but the next day, I catch him at breakfast and try to grasp for that familiar normalcy. He watches my hair, says hi, and leaves. I feel at ease.

Then not.

My stomach drops and I feel the foreboding sensation-- that sense of dread when I realize it was a fluke. I see David out of the corner of my eye, and look at him by default, used to it after four years of being in this godforsaken camp. I think he asked me a question, when he crouched down over me, when he walked over to me--

When did he do that?

I realized all the other campers have gone out of the Mess hall, leaving David and I alone. But even with David here I feel cold and empty like a fire had gone out.

And I just want to go home.

Warm arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me towards them in a warm hug. I resist the urge to do the same. I should be snapping at David for ever thinking I'd hug him ever again.

God, this fucking sucks. This fucking sucks so goddamn much. For fuck's sake, why am I still here?

My shoulders shake when I feel unshed tears freely running down my face. I can't be angry at David when I'm miserable. Someone should really invent feeling two emotions at the same time because this is just plain inconvenient. I scowl at my pathetic self and my insides ache with a familiar feeling that I've felt for so long. My eyes close, while I feel my heart twist at the most painful constricting way.

My past self would have reprimanded me and told me to get over myself, and I'd tell him we're both a fucking mess and we'd laugh bitterly at our own worthlessness.

I wonder what Neil would say if he saw me like this.

[A/N: I had been sick for at least a week and did homework. Do you wanna know what i did once i had free time??? i played minecraft and now im so tired and i hate school clubs because for some reason, i never get the satisfaction i want from clubs and theyre always so tiring and i want to stay in the comfort of my home for most of my life but thats boring.

IN GENERAL, im sorry i left u guys hangin and i dont know how to write a fic. Thank you for reading!! owo]