pls vote on this chapter and reply with some inline and/or main comments to let me know what you think of my review so that I know you have it. Your response too would be greatly appreciated. <3
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THE COVER AND TITLE
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First off, I do feel that you could benefit more off of a better cover, something that Amy show the two kissing and another girl in shock at a distance. You should get a manipulated cover from a cover shop to really attract people into the book more.
SUMMARY
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As cheesy as it is I really like the summary for some reason.
I love how it switches from dialogue to a formal-ish wording and summary. It is very well complementing to each other and I just like it .
THE CHARACTER(S)
I like the characters, but again hey seem to be quiet cliche.
I, feel like one thing that could make your book stand out more is that you give each and every character more personality, they all feel pretty flat and the fact that you introduced almost characters in the first chapter itself was pretty confusing.
Give time to introduce characters and make it in a way that the readers won't forget, I feel like the character introductions are too rushed and also please show and not tell.
I feel like the characteristics of your cast is more told about as in, you dictate how they are trough dialogue, I would've liked to read about certain actions that they do that builds their personality and the uniqueness of it.
SHOW NOT TELL.
GRAMMAR
in the first chapter you say ' I'll propose her to be my wife' this needs to be worded differently.
other than that I found no mistakes in your grammar.
You make good use of punctuation and your word selection is pretty neat, I feel that you do not overdo or give too little imagination. It is just right and doesn't make for a tedious read, bombarded with complex words.
Paragraphs are also nicely spaced.
PLOT
Okay, so the plot follows a normal story of romance and unrequited love, again nothing wrong in that but without proper execution it can become very tasteless.
When writers go for genres like this, they need to be careful to almost bring a twist or a unique point that makes it stand out more. I hope that you will incorporate something like that as the story progresses.
EXTRAS
The structure of your story is good but I just want to add that the only reason I read 2 chapters is because I feel like your chapter parts are way too long.
It is nice in a way but I feel like sometimes, especially the first chapters there were a lot if fillers purely to make the word count go high. Do not be bothered by it if you feel that it is too less, I'm sure readers wouldn't mind.
The second chapter, even though long was more readable due to the dialogue etc.
-out of curiosity how many words was the first chapter?
Also I really like your use of words and I feel that you have really good writings skill maybe try and explore another genre maybe. That may be fun and allow you to write something outstanding rather than a cliche.
As far as romance goes, I can't really critique your work as it has elements of a romance book so keep it up.
I also feel that in the second chapter you use dialogue but hardly say who is speaking at the end which can be confusing for long run dialogues.
OVERALL SCORE : 6/10
(note: the writing is amazing and I like our grammar, its just that I'm not a fan of a full out romance I do like it when it is a part of another genre but honestly I think I would keep reading your book, good luck with your work, Ritika)
