What We Could Have Been (EN version)

Chapter 4

     It's 3:00pm. Ricky arrived ten minutes ago. He was scared of being stuck in traffic. I still do not realize what's about to happen today. The schedule is pretty busy that's why he didn't lost a minute, he's been there for a few minutes and we're already telling me to put on my dress. I go to my room and put on the dress. I come back to the living room where he prepared a chair for me. I sit down. He explains what makeup he's gonna do and what hairstyle as well. I don't really know why he does since we choosed together but whatever. 

    Sabrina arrives while my makeup is being done. Ricky is doing my hair when she comes out of her room, ready. She did her makeup herself, she insisted on doing it. She looks at me, a big smile on her face. She takes a chair and sits in front of us. Ricky looks at us, satisfied. Well I think so.

"I know we said we'd do a nude lipstick but I went for red" he says.

"And he was right" says Sabrina.

I don't say anything. He hands me a mirror and I'm happy to discover the makeup they did. I must admit they're right, red looks better. It's more seeing then I wanted to, but It's also prettier. My heart starts racing.

" Are you gonna talk to some celebrities?" asks Ricky."Find a boyfriend ?" he continues looking at me. 

I roll my eyes. Since he arrived he didn't stopped saying it was the perfect occasion to find love. He didn't een wanted to hear my arguments when I said it was work not a girl's night out. He only said we couldn't control love. I rolled my eyes and left him say what he wanted to.

"Talk why not" says Sabrina.

They both look at me.

"I'd rather talk to the young people" I answer.

Ricky doesn't ever bother listening. Or he pretends he didn't. 

"I heard Ryan Hoover was going to be there! He's really handsome, and very single ! " he says looking at me. He winks.

" I don't even know who he is" I answer.

" I just told you, Ryan Hoover" he says again and winks.

The three of us laugh. Oh Ricky.

Around 5:00pm we're all ready. I would have never expected it to take that much time. Ricky insisted on saying that it was because my hair are long. Well I guess he's not wrong. When I discover the finale look I'm chocked. I do not even recognize myself. I look so much more feminine and healthier somehow. Maybe even happier. I dont' know

I turn around to find Sabrina with tears in her eyes. 

"What's going on" I ask.

"Nothing. Nothing"

I can hear it in her voice that something's going on. 

"Tell me"

I get closer to her and hug her. I almost don't hear Ricky yelling to be careful with my hair and makeup.

"It's just that now I get what he meant when he said you were his angel" she whispers.

My throat tightens. I don't even know what to answer to that. To be honest, I'm paralized, and kind of lost. Nathan used to call me like that when we were together, but he started saying it seriouslu after that night. He told everyone I was his guardian angel. Most people believed he became crazy, others knew  that it was a side effect. At least that's what I thought, until that one day. I was studying when he called me, asking me to meet me at his place because he had a surprise for me. When I arrived he had that smile on his face. The one he always does when he's doing some stupid things. He asked me to close my eyes so I did. When I opened them again, he was shirtless in front of me. I was confused and it took me a few seconds to realize what he wanted to show me.  It was right there on his chest, literally on his heart. I closed my eyes as to check I wasn't dreaming, but when I opend them again it's stil here. Nathan really just got "Angel" tattooed on his chest. Even though I didn't approved, I was kinda relieved that it was just the word Angel and not my name. Of course if I had known, I would have tried to convince him not to do it. Although since that night it was really hard to change his mind about anything since that night. He really believed I was his guardian angel. This tattoo meant a lot to him.

Of course we argued because of this. I told him he was crazy to do that to which he answered he was crazy about me. He acted on a whim and now he was paying the price. I wonder if he recovered it, or removed it. Probably. He can't have keep it. 

In the car, I repeat my scpeech again and again until Sabrina stops me. She says I'm torturing myself, and turn on the radio to relax. I know she's trying to help, but nothing can help me right now. I'm way too stressed out. I'm shaking because of stress. When we get out of the car, I suddendly feel too shy to do this. It takes me a few seconds to even walk correclty.

A guide or a body guard I don't really know, explains what's our program for tonight when we arrive on the red carpet. I can see a few celebrities, actors, artists, athletes. I wasn't really expecting this. When I see a really famous actress, I instantly assume she's the Guest of Honor. I realize I wasn't listening to a word the guide said when he ask if we understood everything. I smile and nod. He inform us we're about to poseon the red carpet. Sarbina was invited to join me on the red carpet, she only accepted because I said we needed memories from our first ever event. 

We're on the red carpet, on our way to pose when we hear people scream. I quickly understand that a celebrity arrived. There's a little crowd movement. A dozen of body guards pass, escorting someone. I see Sabrina trying to see who that was while I'm only waiting. 

"Who was that ?" she ask.

"I have no idea" I say.

I turn my head to look in front of me. I'm breathtaken when my eyes meet the person who just walked in front of us. Oh my god. The rest of the world suddeldnly seems to disappear. Everything seems to be in slow motion. A look. It only took a look to destroy all the work I did all these years. It was like everything came back when I lay my eyes on Nathan. I check again, as if to verify it's not a ghost or something. He weats a black suit and tie with a white shirt. His tie is still knotted the same way.

His eyes ends up meeting mine. I wish I could go far far far away from here , run, but I can't. I'm paralyzed. I can't even remember how to breath anymore. I can't take my eyes off of him. It's stronger than me, I just can't. It's only when a young beautiful brunette join him, a huge smile on her face, that everything seems to go back. This time everything seems to be accelerated. So much it makes me dizzy. I take a deep breath , kind of like I've been taken back to life. I feel Sabrina pinching me. 

"Is that-" she starts.

I interrupt her. I turn around and smile. I'm pretty sure it's the saddest smile on earth.

"Yes, yes it's Nathan".